Page 130 of Throne of Ice and Blood
I drag in an unsteady breath, my chest feeling far too crowded.
Something almost like pain flickers in Draven’s eyes for a moment. Reaching up, he slides his fingers gently over my jaw and then cups my cheek. “I’ve been falling for you for years, from afar, but then I truly got to know you during the Atonement Trials.” A wistful smile blows across his handsome face. “And then that day when you patted my cheek and saidgood talk, I fell in love with you utterly and completely.”
My heart jerks in my chest, and a broken noise comes from the back of my throat. Love. Helovesme? I feel as if there is not enough air left in the room. My heart feels like it is both swelling with light and cracking like fragile glass at the same time.
Draven holds my gaze. “I didn’t even know that we were mates until that day when the mate bond snapped into place. And after that, it was almost impossible to keep my hands offyou. To stay away from you.” Pain flickers in his eyes again, and he drops his hand from my cheek and takes a step back. “And now, you need to leave.”
The sudden loss of his warm hand against my cheek leaves me breathless, as if I have been plunged into an icy lake. But Draven is already moving.
“Go and change into your normal clothes,” he orders while he strides towards a cabinet by the bookshelf. “I’ll get you some food. You’ll need it so that your wound can heal.”
I stagger towards my room, feeling shellshocked. As I quickly strip out of the dress and change into my pants and shirt and boots, I try desperately to reshape my world so that everything makes sense again.
But no matter how hard I try, nothing makes sense.
Draven is secretly working with both the human rebellion and the fae resistance. And has been for years. Decades. All this time, I have considered him my worst enemy, when in reality, he has done more for my cause than anyone else. And far more than me. He has been risking his life for years while secretly trying to kickstart rebellions from all sides. But at the same time, he has been obeying the Icehearts’ every word. It doesn’t make sense.
My heart aches as I walk back into the living room, now dressed in more practical clothes. Draven has thrown off those dark gray clothes that he was using as a disguise, revealing his black dragon scale armor underneath, and has strapped his massive sword down his spine as well. He has also managed to grab some dried meat and cheese from his cabinet. It waits on the desk in a small pile.
“Eat,” he commands, and points towards it.
I numbly drop down in the chair and begin inhaling the food. My mind still spins. I shake my head while still trying to gather my wits.
“Goddess above,” I breathe between bites. “I wish you would’ve told me.”
Regret pulses across his face as he stands there next to me, watching me gulp down the food. He swallows and glances away for a second. “I was trying to protect you.” Then he draws in a deep breath and meets my gaze head on. “But I was wrong. You don’t need protecting.” A wicked smile, full of approval, spreads across his face. “It’s the world that needs protection from you.”
I swallow down the final bite of cheese and then grab the last strip of dried meat. Energy is already flowing back into my body.
Draven heaves a sigh and rakes his hand through his hair. “I’m sorry for not trusting you. In hindsight, I know I should have. But I was terrified that it would only put you in even more danger. You’ve seen what they’ve done to Isera and Alistair. I’ve been keeping my own people in the dark for the same reason. The Icehearts are more vicious than you can imagine.”
After swallowing the final bite of food, I give Draven a small smile. “Well, to be fair, I could have chosen to trust you too. But I didn’t. So you’re not the only one to blame.” I give him a pointed look. “I wish you would have warned me about Lavendera, though.”
A jolt shoots through his body, and he stands up straight while panic pulses across his face. “Lavendera?”
“Yeah.” I scowl in annoyance at the memory. “She’s the one who sold us out. Why didn’t you tell me that she worked for the Icehearts?”
He opens his mouth to reply, but then just closes it again. Frustration and alarm swirl in his eyes as he casts a hurried look towards the door. “You’ve talked to Lavendera about this?”
“Well, yes and?—”
Panic shines on his whole face as he snaps his gaze back to me. “I need to get you out. Now.”
A massive force crashes into the front door.
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
The whole door vibrates as someone throws his entire body weight against it once more while he bellows, “Commander Ryat! You have been accused of helping the human rebels. Their Imperial Majesties are demanding an explanation.”
I jump up from the chair as another thud comes from the door.
“Fuck,” Draven growls as he shoves a knife into my hand. “Someone heard the messenger’s warning and ran to tell Bane and Jessina.”
My gaze snaps down to the knife. It’s not just any knife. It’s my knife. The one I brought here from the Seelie Court.
A yelp escapes me as Draven scoops me up into his arms while I was busy looking at the knife. I whip my gaze up to his face as he runs back out onto the balcony and leaps off it.
My stomach lurches.
