Page 39 of Generation Omega: Claimed
My hands are cold and trembling. Gideon extends his hand toward me, and I reach for it, his warmth instantly soothing. But nothing is going to stop my heart from rattling around like it’s caught in a trap.
Before Gideon loses his mind over my erratic behavior, I tug him toward the couch. He willingly follows, but when I stop, he moves ahead, sitting and reaching for me. I climb onto his lap and allow my stress to release as our hearts pound together, his heart slowing mine like it did in the auditorium when all of this began—back when I had just one alpha somewhere in the world.
Now, I have two bonded alphas. I shudder at where all of this is going.
“Baby girl,please…”
I sit up so I can meet his uneasy gaze. For a second, I can’t speak. My lip quivers, and a few defiant tears race toward my chin.
“Oh, Gideon, I’m so sorry.”
His famous eyebrows demand answers before his words reach me. “What do you have to be sorry for? Tillie, what’s going on?”
I point toward the ceiling. “I just bonded Mackenzie. I’m sure you know that, and then we let Ory and his omega have some time together.”
He’s nodding, having experienced that with me, as he experiences everything with me.
“I know the role that Mackenzie is supposed to play in our pack—he’s beautiful, so perfect.”
Gideon swallows like my pain and fears are physically harming him.
“Gideon, I…” My breaths are halting, but I force myself to continue. “… I’m the greatest danger to our pack.”
“What?!”
“It’s true. The second I realized what Mackenzie’s purpose is, I also saw what your role is meant to be…” I don’t hide my grimace—not even a mask could conceal it. “… and also glimmers of Thatcher’s role, and Kazimir, even Jameson. I saw these powerful hints of what all our pack puzzle pieces are supposed to form.”
My hand covers my heart, as though providing protection during this self-intervention. “I couldn’t see it before Mackenzie, but now, I can’tunseeit. I’m risking everything. I’m riskingMackenzie, the man who willingly stepped aside to finally find his home in this world. I’m his home—this pack is his home. And I’m threatening his life and his future by not acknowledging your role,alpha.”
Gideon’s jaw clenches, his face seeming to be made of marble. I feel him probing my thoughts, and instead of launching an idea army, I relax and allow him into my soul, sharing all my guilt and the full truth my words still haven’t revealed.
I’m not trusting you to take care of me, alpha, and I’m sorry. I’m terrified to have Thatcher in my head—terrified of what he will do with that power. Will he try to erase my love for Ethan? Will he punish me for my fantasies? Will he be jealous? Violent? Will I ever be free to think without his judgment?
The harsh reality reaches us both, as I remind him of my parents’ belittling attacks on me. That’s what Thatcher represents to me. I trust Gideon with my life—I thought that was true, but I see now that I’m using my doubts to clip Gideon’s wings, denying him the right to lead. Worse, he’s letting me. Gideon thinks if he just shows me how much he loves me that I will eventually surrender to his leadership. Maybe he’s right, but we don’t have time for that.
I bury my face against Gideon’s neck as sobs take me. I’m so sorry, but I’m also so frightened to give up the walls that allowed me to survive my life. Being bonded by Thatcher is like drinking fucking poison—like if my parents had gotten into my head, or the secret space in my closet where I hid from them. Thatcher’s vile, condescending nature could destroy me.
That’s still true, but what’s not is actually believing Gideon would let that happen. This is a test—I feel that in my bones. We’re being tested as a pack. Thatcher’s purpose here isn’t hislegendaryomegaverse expertise, at least not yet. Thatcher is here because he’s the giant boulder we’re crashing against that will determine whether this pack forms or fails.
Gideon won’t let Thatcher to hurt me. Ory will tear the guy’s head off and stick it on a pole. But even more tragic, withoutGideon or Ory intervening, Mackenzie will embrace violence and end Thatcher, ruining his pure heart forever.
Gideon rubs my back as he allows me to work through all of it, not shoving his thoughts at me like Thatcher would. This man—my first alpha—is more than capable of serving his role in this pack, of leading us, but for him to do that, I must surrender, trust, and support him.
When my frantic emotions ease and I’m breathing almost normally, he finally speaks again, his words rumbling through me. “You know what this means?”
I nod, not even wanting to hear him say it.
“You’ve had a big day already. I want you to rest for a bit, and then…”
I know—please, don’t say it.
“I have to say it, baby girl, because I’m your alpha.”
Surrender really blows—just saying.
Gideon chuckles darkly. “I know, but think of it this way. You are about to be the first fully bonded omega in centuries, and I will protect you and lead our pack. This wasn’t your fault—it was mine. So, I don’t want to hear another word about you blaming yourself. I don’t know how this is going to go withalphas-a-plentyin your head, but we’ll work it out. We will work through everything that comes. We’re pack—that’s what we do.”
“Yes, alpha.”
