Page 104 of Generation Omega: Claimed
The bad boy I met after emerging from my heat would already be racing to rip our clothes off and dive right into the deep end of carnal satisfaction. But this bad boy,mybad boy, isn’t rushing at all. I know he’ll always be a bad boy at heart—he’s honestly too damn good at it to ever think of surrendering such a compelling aspect of his personality—but now, he’s so much more than that.
I’m all in my feelings about being the woman who gets to watch this man become more than the cardboard cutout version of himself that he’s hidden behind most of his life. If I’m the only woman who ever knows his true worth, that’s fine by me and probably the safest option.
Jamie’s fingertips are wispy feathers as he discovers my face, touching me like I’m his angel. His amber eyes are open now, no harshness, no barriers, no fear. “I lied to you about something else. I didn’t know it was a lie, but I do now.” He doesn’t immediately continue, allowing me the space to take whatever he’s about to share in small pieces.
“Maybe we can only speak lies—to ourselves and others—when we haven’t confronted the truths about who we really are.” When my mind delivers my next words, I don’t censor them at all. “Thisis who I am, who I’ve always been… an omega bornto rule. None of the rest ever felt like my true life, which never made any sense, but it does now, and all of it was necessary. Everything that came before was an educational waiting room as the world and I evolved, always preparing for the door to open so that we could be introduced at the right time to fully become what we’re meant to be.”
I release a deep sigh that carries with it the absolute dread that choked me while I waited to discover whether Jamie would stay or go. “I’m so glad you’re part of my real life.”
His smile is soft, humble, and entirely genuine—my god, the man he could have been is coming to life before my eyes. “Can you forgive me, Tillie? I’ll do anything to make things right between us. I’m not asking you to forget anything, just to be willing to forgive the things I can’t change now.”
I realize my hands are stroking his arms, his face, his shoulders, his neck—completely unwilling to stop touching him. “I forgive you, Jamie. You earned your porcupine sensibilities, and you were shoved into this legacy with no warning. So you did what you knew how to do. When we know better, we do better—at least, that’s the hope and definitely the goal. Now, how exactly did you lie to me?” My words are lightly spoken, but my curiosity is burning hot.
“I thought I needed your surrender—that if I had that, I could be a reasonably responsible alpha to you.” Ideas are awakening in him, and he’s sharing them without self-consciousness, embracing the new landscape that’s suddenly his home. Life within an omega’s fortress. “It was a lie. There’s no balance if one person feeds off another’s surrender without having the courage to surrender too. I missed the point during all my adventures in kink. Dominants and submissives both surrender themselves to the needs of each other—their surrender just looks different.”
He’s so beautiful—as beautiful as a fallen angel who dares to rise again. “The reason I never allowed repeat performances was because they were just that,performances. I was as much an actor as Gideon, only I called itlifewhere he called it a job. A second time with anyone risked everything, and a third was unthinkable. I knew all along that I was a husk, and I was desperate to hide that from all the photographers and groupies who always surrounded me.”
His hand moves around my neck, feeling my pounding pulse that’s echoed by our hearts. “I never thought I deserved freedom from my cage, and I see now that it was all my choice. I didn’t think I deserved to live after my mother died, and my penance was to become the world’s designated useless clown. It was so stupid, but it led me to you, so I can’t regret all of it.”
“How about we leave our pasts behind and just step into the present and the future together? I think we both deserve that.”
Jamie leans and kisses my nose. “I like that idea.”
“One thing I do want to say before we get all mushy and romantic…” I pause to consider whether I’m prepared to mount the high road and address this topic, when Jamie is so close to mounting me. Yup, one and done, and thenhigh road be gone, before I fully embrace my inner feral omega with Ory. Because that primal gal would be more than willing to take up serial killing as a hobby, strictly focusing on anyone who ever touched Jamie or any of my alphas.
“You gave those one-time performance participants the time of their lives. You taught them about their bodies’ capacity for pleasure, like a legitimate professor of pleasure. Oh, dang,Professor of Pleasure, Dr. Jameson Farraway—dude, the things I would do during that guy’s office hours… just saying.” My lusty gaze conceals nothing of my blossoming desire, and Jamie’s clearly amused—translation, smug as fuck—but he’s alsostruggling to remain a mature listener during this complicated discussion. The guy is evolving, no doubt.
Focus, Tillie. Breathe, and continue. “You gave more than you took—I’m certain about that. It’s okay that you weren’t meant to give them forever, and that they weren’t meant to open your heart. But the fact is, in whatever way you could be, you were present with them, and that’s proof of the man you’ve always been.”
Feeling super mature and not at all homicidal, I fix my haughtiest expression onto my face. “Now, that’s thelasttime I will ever think about your former lovers, except to say that you better rock my world in ways you’ve never even considered with anyone else. And later, when we have time, space, andequipment, there better be rope involved.”
There’s my sexy bad boy with the alluring glimmer of sin burning in his soul. “Oh, darling, some men have stockpiles of weapons, but what I have is a limitless arsenal of unexplored deviant desires that belong to you now. Who says alphas don’t bring dowries with them into a pack? And rope is a promise, but first, I might need a little guidance on this missionary business. Can you help your alpha with that? Anything I need to know, other than the rumbling of this truck is strangely arousing?”
He’s not wrong. The truck’s shimmying is just the right kind of vibration to take us where we’re more than willing to go.
Professor Tillie’s lecture on missionary to the infamous sex-tape alpha—that’s nowhere on my bingo card, to-do list, or any fortune cookie I’ve ever met and devoured. But if this enrapt student is mine to teach, then I better make it memorable and aspirational. “It’s all about eye contact and a soul connection, being truly together and releasing everything else. It’s not just seeing the effects of every action—it’s feeling it, sensing it, opening to the person you cherish. It’s not a carnival ride, though those are wonderful too. It’s a…” A tiny fear sparks andcatches fire when I realize what this description actually means to me. Naturally, my words immediately abandon ship.
“Tillie, trust me. Tell me.” He’s looking at me with such love, and I know I’m safe with him, whether I’m here in a truck or hanging off a yacht.
I can’t believe I’m considering sharing these words that prove I’m a naïve, foolish dreamer who believes in true love with my arranged-marriage alphas. But I guess I am a card-carrying naïve fool who absolutely believes in true love with my alphas. No sense hiding that now, not when Jamie’s earnestly sharing his vulnerabilities. Come on, Tillie, let’somega up and ride. “To me, it’s a marriage, a commitment, a declaration of forever, if you do it right.”
Instead of flinching from any of those potentially terrifying concepts, Jamie frees a toothy grin, coupled with a sensuous bravado in his eyes. “How about it, Tillie? Will you marry me? Become my lifelong omegaball and chain?”
“Yes.” Not a second required for that one.
“Fine—right here, right now.”
“Done.”
Jamie chuckles huskily. “We need the words first.” He adopts a snooty vibe. “Do you, Tillie Marie Harrison, take this hot, damaged, hopeful man to be your wedded husband, and all that other stuff?”
“I sure do. And do you, Jameson Matthieu Farraway, take this hot, future omega queen to be your wedded wife, and all that other stuff?”
“Hell ya, baby.” Jameson winks, and my perfume makes itself known. He moans his pleasure, inhaling deeply before kissing my neck.
“Do you need…” Cue the breathy gasps. “… any other pointers?”
He mumbles against my skin, “No, sweet cheeks, I think I’ve got it from here.”
