“Oh, baby girl, I can’t wait.”
My stammered “What?” is completely ignored. And I don’t know whether this is a battle worth fighting, when my own knot is desperate to become acquainted with my omega. My Tillie. My everything.
CHAPTER35
TILLIE
My body thrums with need and if I get anywhere near a knot, I’m climbing on and riding until I collapse. When I wobble like a tipsy fool, both my alphas reach for me, steadying me between them.
Alphas…twoalphas.
My omega is pleased.
My heart beats in time with theirs and, even though hollow parts remain, I don’t feel empty anymore. But there is a different hole in my life that’s getting bigger with each new experience he’s not here to share.
I know the identity of my second alpha, and Ethan doesn’t know yet. Nothing will be truly real for me until Ethan knows about it. I wonder what he’ll think of my stuffy professor alpha. Movie star. Professor. Killer. Do I get a rock star next? I want to laugh with Ethan about all that’s beautiful and ridiculous. I want him to be okay. Ineedhim to be okay.
“Tillie.” Gideon knows just when to pull me back from the darkness, his scent building until I’m swooning.
“Yeah?Knottytime now?” Apparently, omegas can be super conflicted and deliciously aroused at the same time.
I don’t understand his expression when he looks to Professor… Thatcher…Thatch. It’s a strangely appropriate name for him.
Thatcher clears his throat like he swallowed a mothball. “The instincts—bossy things, aren’t they—are urging me to redirect us to more pressing matters.”
I’m sure my forehead conveys my general annoyance with the idea that anything could be more pressing thanpressingmyself against a naked alpha while stroking his knot. Both my alphas groan in unison and their postures coil as they struggle to remain in control. Why do I—and my inner omega—love that so much? Are all omegas sexually mischievous, or is it just me?
I unleash an entitled huffiness that feels entirely authentic. “What’s more pressing than getting to know each other?”
“Staying alive,” they answer together, their tones matching in graveness.
My sparkly balloon of lust and wonder pops like it got jabbed with a needle. “Right, yes, of course.” Guilt bubbles up and Gideon pulls me against him.
“Don’t you dare feel badly about anything. Day two, remember? We’re working this stuff out step by step. We’re building bonds, expanding our pack, and also finding our roles here. I understand mine, and I’m starting to understand Thatcher’s role as well.”
I wrap my arms around Gideon. “What do you mean?”
Instead of immediately answering, he lifts me and carries me to the sofa. Seated, with me on his lap, he gestures for Thatcher to join us. Thatcher chooses the chair beside the sofa, closest to us. With Gideon’s hand stroking my back, I exhale into him, his still-bare chest and incredible warmth soothing what now feels frazzled inside me. The real world broke the omega spell so easily. Part of me wants the hazy lie back, while the other part is grasping for anything that keeps me rooted in our dangerous reality.
Gideon’s deep voice rumbles against me as he directs his attention to Thatcher. “Tell me if this tracks with what you know about the omegaverse.”
Thatcher nods stiffly, gripping the arm of the chair, his battle against his unruly alpha desires still ongoing. I’m sure it doesn’t help that I’m studying his face, his intense brown eyes, that scruffy, rugged five-o-clock shadow, and those amazing eyelashes. His black-rimmed glasses suit him perfectly, but I’d also like to see him without them. As content as I am to be touching Gideon, the pull to climb on Thatcher is real.
Gideon brushes my wild hair away from my face, looking at me with that profound focus. “The first alpha has two main roles. One, the welfare of the omega, whatever that means—offingher enemies, giving foot massages, shielding her body and heart in all things, even within the pack. And two, acting as the actual pack leader.” He grimaces as he turns toward Thatcher. “I would have killed you and will if you are ever a threat to my omega, but I also feel that I’m meant to ensure that all of our bonds are solid. Does that make sense?”
Thatcher seems impressed. “You couldn’t have said it better. That is exactly what the first alpha has always been. For each era, the traits of the first alpha have been different. For example, in medieval times, you would have been the best jouster, but for this day and age—as much as it might pain me to say—your status in the world is advantageous.”
Gideon laughs and completely deadpan says, “I’m blushing, Professor—you do know how to give a compliment, don’t you?”
He’s so playful now, when he was recently lethal. I wonder if I’ll ever get used to the sudden shifts in alpha temperament. But these two men are experiencing just as much confusion and inner chaos as I am. Step by step, like Gideon said, we’re building a pack and a future—it’s remarkable when I think about it.
Gideon can’t keep his hands off me and I’m entirely grateful. “Thank the heavens you don’t need a jouster. I’ve fallen off every horse I’ve ever gotten on.”
Thatcher leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees, his thick hair falling over his forehead. Is he just engaged in the conversation or is he creatively moving toward me? “You said you might know what my role is. What are the instincts telling you about me?”
Before answering, Gideon nuzzles my head and kisses my temple. “It’s becoming clear that my focus on Tillie is so potent that anything not directly involving her is in my blind spot. You’re here to make sure we see the big picture, that we don’t get so lost in each other we forget the rest of the world exists.” He chuckles ruefully. “Choosing situational awareness over aknot revealparty, for instance.”
“Sorry, not sorry,” I murmur as I kiss Gideon’s neck, fighting the urge to nibble on him, maybe even bite down and not let go. When both my alphas groan-growl, I grin and return to the approved topic of the meeting. “Honestly, I can’t believe I’m not obsessing about everything else, everyone else. I’m supposed to beLil’ Miss Empathy, but with Gideon around and all these sensations, it’s hard to remember there’s a world beyond us. But there is and it’s trying to kill us, so having someone to remind us of that is a good thing.”
