Page 60 of Generation Omega: Revealed
My nails dig into Gideon’s arm, my body electrified and needy. I can’t find the words, but I don’t have to because Gideon knows. He leans and presses the button and then we step back and await our new packmate.
CHAPTER29
ETHAN
I should call her back. I should apologize again. I should tell her I’mgreatand everything is fine, but I can’t lie to her any more than I already did. I can’t gloss over the truth that I’m legit trapped in a serial killer’s torture chamber, bound to a table. Bullets tore through my body, and whatever drugs he gave me are wearing off fast. Tillie burned me, my right hand more than my left, but she’d already burned me through that oven mitt that might have been more decorative than useful. A fake oven mitt—Auntie Jem is going to hear about that.
Auntie Jem’s apartment, the attic, the nest, every wonderful moment Tillie and I spent there—all of it flashed in my mind as I shook hands with death. I should be dead, and I need to know why I’m not.
So close… I wasso closeto discovering whether the afterlife is real and whether it’s a place of reunions. I was seconds from knowing whether my father was standing just beyond the gates, waving and welcoming me home. If the omegaverse is real, then meetups in heaven are totally plausible. Imagining that stolen reunion hurts worse than all my other pains, and no amount of meds or time are going to heal it. I was almost there and now I’mhere. Andheresucks in more ways than I can count.
My stomach takes a queasy dive as guilt grabs hold of me. The idea that I regret getting a second chance, when so many others don’t, betrays everything my father taught me. Life is a gift, not a curse, and I’ll work to remember that later. Right now, I’m going to feel whatever I need to feel. I’m just glad no one can see me weep over a missed opportunity I’m ashamed to even want.
It hurts to cry, but I don’t give a damn. The sting of my salty tears in the cuts and scrapes I won in that fight just remind me that life is made of millions of moments. This is just one—a shitty one, but just one. The next will be better, the same, or worse, but it’s still just another moment, a single piece in the million-piece puzzle that is my life. It’s not until the end that we can actually see the image our lives created and the legacy we left for others who might learn something from our horrible and beautiful experiences.
All I know right now is that my end isn’t here yet, no matter how conflicted I am about that. If my body weren’t so wrecked, I’d be able to deal, but this pain is like nothing I’ve ever felt. It’s not just the bullet wounds and the burns—there’s something tearing at me from inside. It’s like barbed wire is wrapped around my rib cage, while a force I don’t understand keeps tightening it. And my hand is absolute torture. I keep checking to make sure nothing is stabbing me through the bandage, but hey, maybe the killer shoved needles in my hand just for fun. I’m too exhausted to tear it off, so I just try to breathe through each agonizing second.
Somewhere between my next inhale and inevitably painful exhale, I remember something about last night.
I asked him to save me, didn’t I?
I asked him to save me for Tillie.
I asked forthis.
What I don’t know is why he saved me? He’sherkiller alpha—not mine. Why would he do it? But that suddenly matters less than what this means.
He might have given me the cure, but I’m the reason I’m here and not with my dad. This is on me.
With no one to blame but myself, I stop battling to get on the other side of the pain and just accept it. I steady my breathing and close my eyes.
Sleep takes me like an undertow, dragging me into the darkest place I’ve ever known.
CHAPTER30
KAZIMIR
I can hear their chants from several blocks away, the omegee army on the march—20,000 strong at least. They’ll create a nice distraction for my old comrades, but not even 20,000 screaming believers can silence Ethan’s emotions that continue to reverberate through me as I move away from him.
Move away from him—the concept itself is ridiculous. It’s geographically possible, which every step proves, but how can you move away from someone who’s already burrowed so deep in your soul that you can barely remember any other way of life?
I can’t find his thoughts though, and that bothers me. I don’t know what he’s thinking when he wakes, but I know he’s unsettled. I know when he calls the omega from the confluence of confusion, guilt, shame, and overwhelming love. When he ends the call, he’s shattered and shrouded by an impenetrable cloud of emotion. Then he sleeps, and that’s the worst of it. He’s tortured by dreams and I’m too far away to help. I resent my limitations and the growing distance from where I want to be. But more than that, I resent the importance of my mission.
I’ve spied on Beta Dominion operatives, killed a few just for fun, and ensured my routes out of the city are secure. I’ve hacked the communications to search for information on other alphas, and so far, the only currently targeted alphas are Gideon Blake and the angsty professor. He’s likely making his move under the cover of the march, which means a strategy session is going to be an unfortunate necessity in the near future.
I’m darkly amused by the symmetry, given my history with the professor. It should be a lively conversation, not unlike the one I’m about to have.
Ethan’s pain stings me as he struggles to wake from his nightmares. To be able to return to him, I embrace the dreaded last task on my to-do list and use a burner phone to call my father.
He’s chuckling sadistically when he answers. “My son, how good of you to call.” He knows. Of course, he knows.
“How?”
More laughter erupts from the monster who raised me and taught me everything I know. “A surveillance drone caught the moment you claimed the beta to save hispreciouslife. It also caught the moment you killed your brother.” He speaks of Ivan with no emotion, but that’s not a surprise. “You should have come to me, brought the beta, used your abilities to bring your omega to heel. I would have given you a clean death, but now…”
I smile because this moment is too delicious not to savor. “The legacy is airborne.”
His pause is heavy with meaning, and his tone is defined by doubt. “How?”
