I sat up, and she hugged me. But do you know what? Sesame Street didn’t teach me half the real shit it should’ve. Fuck you, Big Bird.
I plopped back down on my pillow, and she lay next to me, not saying a word, and rubbed my back lightly as I cried my heart out.
Chapter 13
Dave Did It
I’d hurt Fern. I’d taken the most perfect day of my entire life and ruined it. I made her cry and hate me. Sure, I didn’t know Ashley would show up nude and all, but if I was starting new, why hadn’t I changed the code so my past couldn’t get in?
Jack Daniel’s call was a hard one to ignore after she left. He’d always been my go-to when the cover of night took over my thoughts. When I reminded myself of every fault I had. All of the flaws that made me a weak man.
Fern got a glimpse and ran like she should’ve. I couldn’t be enough for someone like her. She was perfect and would never be able to tolerate the son of bitch I really am. It would’ve been a matter of time before I fucked everything up anyway. Maybe it was better for her to kick me to the curb now.
I paced my apartment, knowing I should get out of there because the pull to the bottle in the kitchen was getting stronger as the realization that she wasn’t coming back sunk in.
I grabbed my cell phone to call one of the guys. I was sinking back into that pit. Anger and panic were everywhere while my heart pounded like thunder. As hard as I tried, I was struggling to breathe, and I couldn’t get air into my lungs. A panic attack? A stroke? My vision tunneled, and I could hear my fucking eyes blinking.
I couldn’t deal. I tore into the kitchen and nearly ripped the cabinet door off the hinges and grabbed Jack. My eyes burned, and my hands shook as I brought the bottle to my lips. I didn’t want to. This was me. The screwed-up SOB was back. I’d scared away the only person I needed.
I guzzled from the bottle like an animal until I felt the tingle go down the back of my neck and knew I’d be numb soon.
I awoke to the sun poking me in the eye. Why is the sun so loud? What day was it? Is it morning or afternoon? Okay, it appeared I was still drunk, and the hangover would be making a grand entrance shortly. I can’t believe we can put people on the effing moon but still haven’t figured out how to prevent a hangover. Our country’s priorities are all jacked up.
I jumped when the front door flew open, and Ed and Andrew entering like a LOUD herd of buffalo, making my head pound. Practice. Shit.
I sat up, not realizing the open bottle of booze was resting on my chest. It tilted as I moved, causing the remaining liquor to flood out onto my chest. Well, apparently rock bottom has a basement. Great.
“Get the fuck up, Gabe.” Dan yelled. “I’m warning you. Today’s one of those days where I want to light someone’s face on fire and put it out with a fork.”
I set the bottle on the coffee table and walked to my bedroom with Dan on my heels. Once there, Andrew pulled open my closet and started throwing clothes at me.
“Sorry, I overslept?—”
Andrew pointed at me. “You’ve been good for a while now, but here we are again.”
I jumped in my clothes. “Okay, I’m ready. Let’s put this behind us and do practice. I look okay. Right?”
Andew huffed, “You look like something I’d draw with my left hand.”
Dan leaned against my dresser. “Practice is over. Coach told us to come and get you.”
Fuck.
I skated onto the ice with Coach Degan standing by the bench. Normally someone I’d consider a friend, but not today since his face was the same shade of red as the blood that might shoot from my body while he kills me right there on the ice. I decided minimal speaking was the best option for me. “Coach, I’m sorry.”
“You don’t show up to practice? Who the fuck do you think you are?”
At that moment, I was the drunk dude feeling similar to a dead corpse that had been rotting in a landfill in scorching summer heat. “It won’t happen again, I promise. This team means everything to me. I made a mistake.”
“Better not. I’ve given you some leeway these last years because you’re one of the best, but my patience?—”
I put my hand up, “I swear to you. It won’t happen again.”
He let out a breath and nodded. So maybe the day was looking up? I skated away, thankful to be heading back to the locker room when he clapped his hands, and I turned back to him.
“Oh, you’re not done here.”
“Coach—”
