The recipe for today:
1 cup cluster
2 cups of fuck
I didn’t hear what else was being said as my eyes stayed on the table while thoughts of her receiving the Gabe treatment zig-zagged through my mind’s eye. That’s when I dropped my fork on the floor, went down too quickly to retrieve it, and slammed my head into the table. “Son of a bitch.” I hoped I had muttered it quietly, but when I sat up, all eyes were glued to me. “Sorry.”
Dan pointed his fork in the air, “Don’t apologize. We all know that smart people swear more than stupid fuckers.”
Dave flew out of his seat. “Fern, are you okay?”
“Yes, I’m fine.”
He touched my forehead. “Oh, Fern, you might get another bruise.”
I heard my heart beating in my ears as stupid Missy stared at me. “Oh, honey, do you want some ice?” She looked at Gabe. “Do you still keep the ice pack in your bedside table?”
My eyes were everywhere but on Gabe as I digested her words. Of course, she knew what was in his bedside table as she’d been where I was. Or I’d been where she was. It was like Sabrina Carpenter’s Taste. Yup, one degree of separation. Either way, the walls in the kitchen were closing in as my heart was yelling at me for believing I could walk out of this thing without pain to every part of me.
I stood, held up my hand, and flashed the biggest smile I could muster up. “Nobody move. Sit and eat. I’m fine.” This was my fault for playing with a player. (Shouldn’t Taylor or Olivia Rodrigo be writing that song like today?)
Once out of sight, I took the stairs two at a time and got to my room. I locked the door before I became furious at the tears when they dared to make their presence.
I walked to the mirror to see a little bump. Clearly, the universe was beating me senseless for making piss-poor decisions.
I leaned against the window frame and watched Missy and Raquel load their stupid catering shit into a Honda and felt pure joy as they drove off into the sunset. Peace out.
“Fern?” Dave’s voice shot through the door as he knocked.
“I’m fine really. Between the hang over and my klutziness, I think I might just lay down for a little bit. Okay?”
“Sounds like a good idea. Liv and the girls wanted to run to town to pick up a few items. Do you need anything?”
“No, I’m good, but thanks.”
“Okay. See you soon.”
“Love you.”
“Love you too, Fern.”
I dropped on the bed and listened as the front door closed, and everyone drove off. Alone. It was a good way to be. Maybe that would be my new mantra.
I took two more pain reliever tablets and rested my head on the pillow.
“Fern.” My heart jumped at Gabe’s voice through the door. “Can I come in?”
“I’m fine really.”
“You may be fine, but I’m not.”
“I just need a little time alone.”
“No.”
“Excuse me?” Who in the hell did he think he was, speaking to me like that.
“I need to come in there, Fern.” His voice had an edge to it I didn’t care for.
