“Fern?” came through the door.
“Yeah, just had to do it once more.” She hopped up and grabbed my hand. “I’m done now.”
“You’re a head scratcher, girl.” Relief at the sound of his footsteps leaving.
“Love you, too, Bro!” She turned as her breath hit my face. “I’ll go down the hall and ask Dave if he has a charger so you get out of here unseen.”
I nodded as she pulled on a sweatshirt from the floor before shaking her ass at me as she made her way out the door.
Somehow, I ended up being the last one into the living room and could not have been more amused. Andy’s gifts were the bomb.
Everybody wore black sweatshirts with white writing across the front. I was originally feeling questionable about my Bat Shit Crazy shirt but no more.
Ed’s was Inappropriate Groom. Dave’s read I’m not gay, but $20 bucks is $20 bucks. Across Dan’s chest was I Look Better Bent Over, and Andrew’s had This Guy Rubs His Own Meat on the front.
And the ladies: Tawnee’s was Dysfunctional Bride, Katie’s read Pizza Slut, Liv’s had Moist written in a pretty font, and Fern’s was Part-Time hooker.
Katie clapped her hands together. “Now, I’ve chosen a pre-game event to entertain us until the car arrives. And yes, prizes are involved because I know this crew.”
You would’ve thought Fern hit the lottery by the way she was jumping around and high-fiving everyone.
Liv reached for a coffee cup on the end table next to the couch. “But first, I need everyone to draw a strip of paper and read it aloud. Then I’ll fill you in.”
One by one we drew.
Pam held hers up. “Tap dance like your toes are on fire.”
Katie grabbed one. “Bark like a police dog catching a driver with twenty pounds of cocaine.”
Fern shook her head. “Twirk like a stripper desperate to not lose her gig.”
Andrew shrugged his shoulders. “Cluck like a chicken.”
The cup went around to Dave. “An enthusiastic YMCA dance, huh.”
I held it in the air. “Magic Mike moves”.”
The room got a kick out of that one as Ed pulled. “Meow like a cat in heat.”
“Alright folks, whenever I say as you are tonight, wherever you are, you do what is on your paper. Shall we practice?”
Some nods and a few shoulder shrugs.
“As you are!”
I glanced around the room and nearly lost it. Between the horrific cat in heat meowing, Dave and with his cheerleader style YMCA, to Fern’s twirking, which I planned on checking out up close and personal later, I realized I was surrounded by the best group a man could hope for.
Pam threw her hand in the air. “Nice! Now everyone, please follow me into the kitchen.”
We all headed that way when Fern suddenly pushed her way through the group and sprinted ahead with that fine ass giving me a little show. Once there she threw her hands in the air. “I won!”
Pam shook her head. “Honey, that’s not the contest.”
Fern’s little nose wrinkled. “Are you sure? Because clearly, I won the race to the kitchen.”
Katie reached her and grabbed her hand. “Yeah, there wasn’t a race.”
She started jumping around like a boxer. “Well, you mother truckers are lucky because I smoked all your asses!”
