Page 8 of Changing Caleb
7
Caleb
Ilove Hollis because it’s a small town. I also hate Hollis because it’s a small fucking town. There’s no such thing as avoiding someone you don’t want to see. I know that’s why Brady called my sister to come get me and take me away. I was self-destructing.
I could feel it happening. I would look in the mirror every damn day and see the dark circles underneath my eyes. Hear the bitterness in my tone and the anger in my voice when I spoke to my friends, but I couldn’t help myself. I was here in Hollis, the town I grew up in, and Casey was everywhere.
Hollis is the type of town that can suck you in and hold you here forever. You can turn a corner and see where you shared your first kiss while sitting on a haystack. You can drive down the street and pass by the school where you held hands for the first time. It has memories like that. Memories you normally want to cherish.
When you want to escape from them though, you fucking suffocate. They’re everywhere. Every single person you know is a reminder of what you no longer have. A reminder of allthe mistakes you made and all the damn time you wasted. A reminder that you can’t change the past.
Like now, I want to eat at my favorite place, and the moment I walk in, I’m facing a memory. I used to walk into this place nearly every single day, and Casey would be here. She would come serve me, and we would flirt, sometimes we would even slip to the storage room for a quickie. Now, it’s like Jack’s Bar is tainted for me.
I follow Brady to our usual table. The moment I sit down, my phone buzzes in my pocket.Hillary.I haven’t spoken to her since I came back home. We had an understanding when I left. If I decide to return to L.A., I’ll call her. She isn’t waiting for me, and I didn’t promise to see her again.
“Does Los Angeles suck that bad already?” I tease when I answer.
Brady cocks his eyebrow and smirks but doesn’t say anything. I’m sure any second he’ll be making obscene hand gestures.
“Are you kidding? I’ve already moved on to another lost cause,” Hillary replies.
I wait for the usual jealousy I should feel at the thought of her with someone else, but it doesn’t come. I wonder for a moment if this is a bad thing, but then tell myself it isn’t. It’s a good thing that I’m not behaving like a kid. A kid would be jealous. I’m a fucking man.
“Make sure your new lost cause does that tongue thing you like so much,” I taunt with a smirk, even though she can’t see it, and the hand gestures from Brady begin. I cover my mouth to keep from laughing.
“I guess some things haven’t changed,” Casey murmurs as she approaches.
Brady drops his hand from the blowjob he’s mimicking and takes his coke from Casey. She puts mine on the table in front ofme with such force that some coke splashes out of it. I look down at the spilled drink and then up to Casey. Her arms are crossed over her chest, and she has an eyebrow arched at me. I have seen this look so many times that I’ve lost count.
“The usual?” she asks.
“Yeah, that’s fine,” I answer, not letting my gaze waver. “Extra —"
“I know. Extra pickles,” she cuts me off with a huff.
If she wants to act like a bitch, I’ll prove to her I can take it. I’m not weak like I was before I left for L.A.
“I’m still here, Hillary. Sorry, I was ordering from the waitress.”
Casey rolls her eyes, walking off, and I hear Brady chuckle and mention something about her spitting in my food. Shaking my head, I tell Hillary I need to go. Brady is eyeing me as I shove my phone back into my pocket.
“Hillary, huh?”
“It’s nothing serious.”
“Well, it’s about fucking time you met someone else,” he grins.
And give up on Casey. He doesn’t say it, but he’s thinking it. I should move on. Should give up on there being any chance of us reconciling. She thinks I’m still the same old Caleb. Before I completely give up, I need her to know who I’ve become.
“So, I need a little help.”
“Only a little?”
I laugh. “It’s time I find my own place.”
“About fucking time.”
New place. New bed. New me. Brady is right.About fucking time.
