Page 31 of Changing Caleb
“Absolutely.”
“She has to get that remade now,” I tell Hillary.
“I thought I asked the other waitress to put it on the side,” she explains. “My bad.”
A few minutes later, Casey delivers Hillary a newly made salad, dressing on the side. She checks us for refills and then walks away, disappearing into the stock room instead of behind the bar. Madden asks Hillary about L.A., and I use that moment to excuse myself, pretending that I have to take a piss.
I slip into the stock room, hearing Casey’s sniffles as I close the door behind me. I put my hand on her shoulder, and she stiffens, quickly wiping her tears away.
“I didn’t know she was coming here.”
“Doesn’t matter.”
“Then why are you in here crying?”
She pushes me back and steps around me. “I wasn’t in here crying because you brought some tramp here from Los-fucking-Angeles. I don’t care what the hell you do, Caleb. Go fuck her out there on the bar for all I care.”
“I’m fucking trying here. Why can’t you see that?”
“You’re trying? Good for you! How about youtryto move on then?”
She storms out of the room, and I slam my fist into the wall, busting through the plaster. Fuck this shit.
36
Casey
Caleb always fucking gets to me, and I let it happen over and over again. When will I learn my lesson? He’s broken my heart more times than I can count. All the on-again, off-again bullshit. It has to stop for good.
These thoughts run through my mind as I close up the bar, and I haven’t been able to shut them down. It’s late, and I’m ready to get home, take a long bath and forget about Caleb Randall.
But he swears he’s a changed man. Well, you know what? I’ve changed too. I want more out of life than I used to. I want the husband and the family and the picket fence. I want it all. And Caleb is not the man to give that to me.
That’s the part I find hard to accept. Iwanthim to be that man. I may dwell on the bad times, all the fights, but we had a lot of good times together too. All the football games and Hollis street dances. I was happy before. Caleb made me feel alive, wanted. Hell, loved. And that was in spite of the arguing. Arguing is our thing. It’s how our relationship works. I just never thought arguing would cost me so much.
Absentmindedly, I place my hand on my flat stomach as I drive, wondering how I would look had I not had a miscarriage. I probably would’ve been horribly irritable and snapping at everyone. Which is already kind of my thing.
I turn onto my street, noticing headlights behind me. It’s late for Hollis, which usually means no one is out and about. Ignoring them, I pull into my driveway and get out, heading to my porch. I push my door open and then realize I’m not alone. The mere scent of him is a dead giveaway.
“What are you doing here?” I ask. “Don’t you have company to entertain?”
“Hillary’s a big girl. She can take care of herself.”
“Oh, and I can’t?”
“That is not what I mean, Case. You know that,” he says. “You’re so strong, the strongest person I know.”
Tears fill my eyes. “I’m not that strong, Caleb.”
“Yes, you are. Stronger than me, that’s for damn sure,” he says. “And I’m sorry. So fucking sorry. I can’t apologize enough times, and I don’t know how to make you forgive me. I’ll do anything you need.”
As much as I hate to admit it, I can see that he’s changed. He’s putting in the effort, trying to show me how much. It’s impossible to ignore. It’s just that I’ve built my walls up when it comes to him and having them fall is terrifying.
“What about Hillary? She came all the way here for you.”
“I told her to go back.Youare the only woman for me.”
His body is suddenly flush against mine, my back pressed against the door and his lips drag along my ear. He nibbles my lobe and then kisses my neck before leaning back.
