Page 11 of Outside the Lines
I remembered. The kids had built a few raised beds in the shelter's backyard and Trin had inevitably killed anything they'd tried to grow. All except for the weeds, of course. "I'm not either. Kim bought me a succulent a few years back. It lasted about a month. I think I overwatered it. After that, she's never bought me another plant. It's probably for the best."
Trin chuckled and tightened their fingers around the crook of my arm. "Probably. How is Kim anyway? I didn't see her at the shelter today."
"She's good. She's close to retirement age now, but I doubt she'd ever take any time away from the kids. She's threatened to be buried out in the backyard by the apple tree."
"Tell me she's not serious!" Trin was trying hard not to laugh.
I laughed too. "She's absolutely serious. Dead serious even, if you don't mind the pun. I think she'd like to see you again. If you ever wanted to come back to the shelter."
Trin grew quiet and their steps slowed. "No, I don't think I could do that. But maybe I could have you both over for dinner sometime. Andy is my roommate, and he has a cat, but they're both relatively normal. For a human, anyway. Cats are lovely little creatures, but I'm often glad that she prefers him to me. I never really got attached to the idea of having animals."
"Why not?"
Trin pursed their lips.
"Pets are a weakness that can be used against a person," they quietly said.
"I hear the botanical garden has a great herb area. Sometimes in the spring they sell plants. Too bad neither of us are that good at growing things, or else I'd say we should get some. Plants from a botanic garden have to be pretty healthy."
Trin was quiet for another three blocks.
"Thank you. You always did know when not to push something."
"You're welcome. I learned that pretty quickly when you almost ran because I just had to know your name. I was young and stupid. I should not have been the one to do your intake."
Trin snickered. "Maybe not. But I think you did really well. And, if you had pushed, I would have left. Who I was before Socks didn't matter. Socks was a good person. At least I tried to be when I was them. And as Trin, I help others. That's enough for me. Is it for you?" Trin pulled me to a stop on the sidewalk only a few blocks from the garden.
"Yes, it is," I promised them. I didn't need to know the details. Much of their life was a mystery to me. I was sure I would never know whatever dark, horrible things had been done to wind up with Socks terrified and on the street at fourteen. And I'd made peace with that.
Trin gave me a hopeful smile. "I think I'd like to hold you to that."
"Good. I hope you do."
Trin stepped into my arms and I hugged them gently. They were thin, as they always had been, and their hair smelled like coconut. They trembled, and I brought them a bit closer to me. "Are you cold? Should we do something else that isn't outside tonight?"
"No. It's not that. It's that this is nice. To be held, I mean. Not to be Andy's best friend getting a hug because Andy hugs everyone he ever meets. This is you holding me because you want to, and this is me staying here in your arms because this is where I want to be too."
"I love having you here." I took a chance and kissed their shoulder.
"Me too. Is there anything you've ever wanted to do, but haven't?" Trin unexpectedly asked me. It could have been dangerous territory for us, depending on if I got to ask them the same question or not. Ever since the first night, I'd always been careful not to tread too close to their secrets. I thought that I would be risking them running away and losing them forever if I did.
I thought long and hard about their question. There was plenty that I had never done, but I knew they were asking me for more than that. "I've never ridden a horse. I've thought about going. A few times. But I've never made myself go. They're beautiful creatures, but they're also tall and powerful. I'm strong enough to admit when I'm afraid."
Trin smiled at me and I didn't feel weak or exposed for having answered their question. I was sharing a small part of myself with them, and I hoped that they would do the same. "What about you?"
"Well, first, I would go riding with you. If you ever wanted to, that is. I haven't been, but horses don't scare me." They turned away from me and licked their lips as if they were nervous. "As for something I've never done… it might be nice to be intimate with someone at some point. I want to, but I haven't."
Privately, I was glad that their ex hadn't been their first. And part of me wanted to be. I found Trin attractive. I wanted to touch and kiss them. And if they let me do more to them, then I would. But I didn't want to be pushy.
"It's worth waiting for someone you really care about," I quietly said..
Nodding, Trin moved their hand from my arm to lace their fingers in with mine. "I'm sure it is." They were blushing, and I wanted so much to kiss their cheek, but with only having just had them come back into my life, I didn't want to rush and scare them away so quickly. I'd lost Trin once, and I wasn't willing to risk doing that again.
I wanted to kiss them as we stood there on the sidewalk under the light of an overhead lamp. More than anything. But I decided that I should wait. It would be better that way. Maybe it wouldn't feel rushed between us then. Like I was spinning wildly on a roller coaster, and I didn't even know which way was up anymore.
"We should go into the gardens."
Trin looked toward the entrance to the botanic gardens then back at me. "You looked like you were maybe going to say something else."
