Page 90 of Revel
And then she waits, like I’m supposed to say something in reply. I have nothing for her. What am I supposed to do, tell her she’s forgiven? “You need to leave,” is all I can respond with. I don’t want her here. I want numbness. I want an escape. I don’t want to hear my own heart beating let alone feel tears of anger sliding down my cheeks.
Hensley leaves as Liz comes in after her. Her face full of emotion, yet blank at the same time. “They released him.”
I nod.
“We can’t find him.”
Again, I nod.
I know where he’s heading. My hotel room.
“Just go. I’ll deal with him when he gets here.” I blink back tears, trying not to sink. This is all too real. One blink at a time as the anger, betrayal and sadness creeps in.
My heart beats erratically, my emotions all over the place. I don’t know where we stand or what’s going to happen next. Revel shows up at my hotel room two hours after he’s released from jail. He lingers by the door, his eyes downcast and shoulders hunched. I take in his appearance, unsure of what to say to him. He’s showered and thankfully out of his bloody clothes, and in fresh ones, he looks worse than he did last night. Both eyes are swollen and red, the right more than the left. His right hand is in a splint, and there’s cuts on his lips, chin, and below his left eye. Like I said, he’s a mess.
“Did you know this whole time?” I ask him. He’s sitting beside me on the bed now, smoking, bouncing his knee to the point it’s really annoying the crap out of me. “Did you know it was him she was sleeping with?”
He nods. “Yeah, I knew from the beginning,” he answers honestly, but it’s the break in his words that surprise me. He’s angry, on the verge of either blowing up again or walking away. The gasp of breath he sucks in when he snubs his cigarette moves my attention completely to him. “It wasn’t my place to tell you.”
“Is that why this is going on?” I motion between us. “Did you, I mean—”
“This?” He laughs, shaking his head as he coughs out a breath filled with smoke wandering up over his head. “C’mon, Princess, I wouldn’t exactly classify what I do to you asthis.” His hand moves up my thigh and though I welcome the touch, the electrifying sensation that’s always there, I want answers I know he has.
“Stop it.” I push his hand away. “Did you know my dad was the one who got Hensley pregnant? Is that why you started this? To get back at him? I want the truth.”
Revel’s glare, his intensity, it’s almost too much to bear. “Yes, and no,” he finally admits.
Is this some kind of sick joke?
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you knew all that shit.”
Staring me down, his eyes are lost. My emotion, my tears, they push him toward the only reaction he knows—straight to the boiling point. “Don’t spin this all on me. That’s not fair and you know it. You knew, you just refused to see it, and us, you know that shit wasn’t orchestrated. What I said, what Idid to you, that was real and happened without me wanting it to.”
“I didn’t know for sure it was Hensley my dad had been with.” I fully realize that deep down I knew, but I kept pushing it aside.
Revel shakes his head, running his hand over his jaw. “You did, you just refused to acknowledge it.”
There’s truth in that.
“Youcould have told me,” I remind him.
“Are you fucking serious?” Revel yells, standing up. “Why the fuck was that my responsibility?” He takes a step forward, an angry step, but he isn’t going to hurt me. I know that. “That’s bullshit and you know it. You were just too goddamn naïve to see what was right in front of your face the entire time.”
I watch his face, the words, the reaction, the anger, it’s all there. He reaches for me, but I resist. “Don’t touch me,” I warn, but my voice shakes, and I yank my hands out of his reach.
He laughs, but he steps back. “Don’t touch you?” He rolls his eyes, looking at the wall, and then back to me. “Okay,” he says, nodding like I’m playing a game with him, and he’s playing along just to appease me. But this isn’t a game, and he fucking knows it. “You know, tell me something, Red. Because I’m really fucking curious. Why did you come on this tour?” He sounds honestly interested in my reply, but his eyes tell me otherwise. He’s drunk. Again.
“You’ve been out of jail for two hours and you’re drunk, as usual. This is ridiculous, Revel. You need to stop drinking.”
He laughs, patting his pockets for his cigarettes again. Only they’re on the end table next to the bed, right in front of him and he can’t see them. “I’ve been drunk since you met me. Now answer the question.”
“Maybe you need to get some help.”
His eyes drift lazily to mine as he sits next to me again. “Maybe I found it.”
I push his hands away, refusing to let him use me as a crutch for his inability to say no. “I can’t be that for you. You’ve used me enough.”
My head tells me he’s cold, disturbed, and will never be what I need. So why, even after all the hell he’s put me through, do I still want him?
