She nods, chewing on her bottom lip. I hold my palm out to her. She takes it and lets me draw her closer. While she remains standing, I wrap my arms around her waist, my chin resting on her stomach. She looks down at me, her hands in my hair. “Rev, what are we doing?”
I shrug, wondering the same thing but refusing to say it. Emotion wells up inside my chest, begs me to tell her what it is we’re doing, but refusing to admit that when this tour’s over, this might not be something that survives. In many ways, I’m incapable of being what she needs, and she knows it. I don’t want to think about anything beyond this moment with her and being inside her again.
She fists her hands in my hair, tugging softly until my eyes meet hers. I hate the way she looks at me, like she’s fallen and knows I just did.
Fuck you, love. You’re a monster. I swore we’d never be friends again.
ROSES OF REVENGE
TAYLAN
I want to kill him. I’m dead serious. Of all the nights for us to sing the never-before heard “Roses of Revenge” it’s tonight at Madison Square Garden in front of a sold-out crowd.
“I’m so nervous!”
Bella hands me my tea and wraps a damp cloth around the back of my neck. “Stop it. You’re fine.”
“No, I’m not.” I grab my stomach, reaching for whatever it is beside me. It happens to be an equipment box. “I think I’m going to throw up. What if—”
“No. There’s no what if.” She removes the cloth, running her hands over my back and moves in front of me. “There’s only you can, you will, and it will be amazing. Now get your redheaded ass out there and show them what this rock ‘n’ roll ginger is made of.”
Drawing in a deep breath, Bella’s pep talk sinks in. Over her shoulder, I see him, center stage, watching me. Revel motions me forward, his lips pressed to the microphone. “Tell me, New York. . . you wild motherfuckers wanna hear a new song? It won’t disappoint.”
Naturally, the crowd roars in response. Everything inside me flutters and warms toward him, for him, as I take a step forward.
With his eyes heavy on mine as he begins the opening riff, my confidence surfaces. I strut toward him, a microphone in my hand as he sings the first line, “If I’m being honest.”
I smile at him, winking as I sing, “I saw it for what it was.”
“Lie to me if you want.” His eyes lock on mine, our bodies inches apart, the heavy drum beat and blues guitar a background to our duet.
The stage lights move to me, my hair a curtain over my shoulder, shielding my face from the crowd. “The truth comes out eventually.”
With his Fender swung behind his back, Revel leans in closer, the warmth of his forearm touching mine and then it happens, he takes my hand on stage. Holy crap. He’s holding my hand. My eyes dart to the lip of the stage, lower to the audience for a reaction. Everyone’s eyes are on us. In front of thousands of people as his voice carries through me. “Take this rose of revenge, what’ll ya make of it? It’s the axe that forgets, the tree remembers.Honey, I’m on my knees.”
My cheeks heat, my stomach jolting at the emotion in his eyes. “Go ahead, test my loyalty and you’ll see.”
He winks at me, drawing me closer. His chest expands with the next line, “It’s a lock you never had the key for.”
“You wanna start a war?” I tease, my hand on my hip like we’re playing out the song we’re singing. On the outside, I’m acting. On the inside, my heart is racing. I’m sweating and my armpits itch with nerves.
Letting go of my hand, Revel surprises me, and everyone else when he touches his palm to my face, kisses me. On. The. Lips. And then sings, “Know what you’re fighting for.”
I don’t move at first. I don’t even think I’m breathing. Am I? Do I look okay? Am I dead? My brain overloads me with thoughts, and all my heart can do is thump wildly to the kick of the bass and the flow of the blues guitar Revel adds to the riff before the chorus.
He smirks, winking at me. Had he been planning that all along? My eyes sweep to Bella’s on the side stage and then his bandmates who are all smiling too.
Well-played, Revel. Well-fucking-played. Look at the smirk that follows. He knew exactly what he was doing, didn’t he? My heart beats so loudly I can’t hear anything aside from the roar of the crowd, the screams from the women hating me, and Revel pushing into the chorus. “I give you these roses of regret. I don’t know any other way. All I want is to forget. Deception digs deep. Shhh, you were never mine to keep.”
Forcing myself to take a breath, I stare at him. My throat feels tight, tears stinging my eyes, but they don’t slip past my lashes. I’ve never had anyone look at me the way he’s looking at me right now. Never had someone show so much confidence in me.
The rest of the song goes by in a blur, and I’m caught up on the kiss. There have been rumors surrounding us since the first night of the tour, and with one kiss, he laid them all to rest without saying a word.
I don’t remember finishing the song. And I don’t remember the audience’s reaction to it. What I do remember is the warmth of his body, the way that kiss made me feel like I was a million-feet tall because he showed the world the princess of the pop had a place beside him on stage. Not behind him, not in front of him, right next to the vulnerable, definitely drunk, and slightly crazy Revel Slade.
We all lose ourselves in love in different ways. Some fall with a look, a gesture, time spent together. We fall at different times, and I think in front of thousands on a stage at Madison Square Garden, that’s when my heart fully chooses to let him in.
“What the heck was that?” I gasp, gripping his forearms as we stumble off stage, both of us high on adrenaline.
