Page 91 of Untamed
The PBR Ring of Honor, similar to many sports' hall-of-fame honors, is reserved for select bull riders whose contributions to the sport of bull riding last beyond their success in the competitive arena. The award, symbolized by a custom-made, gold-and-diamond ring engraved with the honoree's name and the PBR logo, is bestowed upon its recipients each year during a ceremony at the 25th PBR: Unleash the Beast World Finals.
“I want to show you something,” Grayer says to me the next morning after he asked me to go for a drive with him. Britany’s bringing Wyatt over tonight, and I’m not sure what to make of it or how it will go, but I guess I’m about to find out.
We’re driving down an old country road with weeds grown up over the road by a river. We go about another mile and turn again onto a dirt road.
That’s when I see it. A house still under construction tucked away behind trees in a clearing. His house?
It’s different out here, but I love it. I can see why he likes it here. Why he’d want to build a house here. “Is that your house?”
I scan the land. It’s vast with overgrown grass but you can tell it’s a work in progress for him.
Grayer nods to my question and I see a bit of tension in his eyes. “I started building it about a year ago,” he says, moving his hands from the steering wheel and then to his lap and back to the steering wheel, fidgeting, as though showing me this is making him vulnerable.
We both get out at the same time. When we meet in front of the truck, he reaches for my hand and walks me up to the door. It’s still in the framing stage and no roof. “I’ve done most of it myself when I can.”
“When do you have time?” I laugh.
He shrugs, leaning on a wooden frame in what he says will be the family room eventually. “I have some time, just, not a lot. I need to leave on Wednesday for Tulsa, but I always have at least a couple days at home here and there.”
The thought of him leaving, or me leaving, whatever it is gives my heart a jump. A reminder that the longer I’m around him, the more this guy gets to me. Makes me believe love can be found even when you think it’s gone forever.
“Will Ty live with you?” I ask, looking around. Grayer follows me, his boots scraping against the wooden floor behind me.
“He might. We just rent that house right now. Reid used to live with us, but when he and Britany got together they bought a house about five miles away.” Clouds roll in, the sky peppered with blue and gray, some dark, some lighter as a mist of rain falls. It’s accenting every detail of this country road and the overgrown grass. “It’s about to pour on us. We should probably go.”
He reaches for my hand again and I smile. “Nothing like sex in the rain,” I say, trying to tease him a little. Though we did it two more times this morning, I can’t get enough of him.
He draws in a whistled breath, watching me get into the truck. I sit down on the bench seat as he gets in, shaking his head with his eyebrows raised, as if to say,I’m screwed. “You shouldn’t say those things to me.”
“Why?” I ask, giggling.
“Because I have no control when it comes to you. No goddamn control at all.” His hand goes to my bare thigh and higher until it reaches the edge of my jean shorts. “I can’t deny you no matter how hard I try.”
“Oh, please.” I laugh. “Love at first sight is totally a thing, you know,” I blurt, wanting to slap my hand over my mouth.
He turns his head and he looks out the windshield. “I suppose it is.” He waits, and then asks, “Do you really believe that?”
“In love at first sight?” I’m stalling because I’m not entirely sure how I’m going to answer that. Do I? When I said it to him, I was teasing, making light of the situation.
“Yeah.”
“Yeah, I think I do.” I watch his face when I say, “I think you meet a person and you just know. You’re comfortable with them and feel like you’ve known them your entire life. I think that’s love. Maybe not necessarily romantic love, but love nonetheless.”
He nods, understanding exactly what I meant by that. “You loved Jamie, right?”
“I did.” The corners of my mouth tug into a half smile thinking of that feeling I got when I knew I loved Jamie. The scary part is, I knew that feeling so well because it’s what I feel now. “But I also knew him since I was a child. I fell slowly, over time, and then it was consuming. Like I couldn’t breathe without knowing he felt the same way about me.”
He takes my confession better than I anticipate he will. He has to have known I loved Jamie. Everyone knew.
“I know you guys aren’t together, but do you ever think about it now, making it work with Britany for the sake of Wyatt?”
“No. I think we’re raising him just fine. She catches a lot of shit from fans and even reporters when they find out about our situation but she’s happy with Reid. It’s clear to see he’s the better man for her. Me and her together, we were a disaster in the making.”
“Does that make you sad?” I turn in the seat to face him now. “I mean . . . is it hard to see her with Reid and Wyatt with him?”
His right hand moves from the steering wheel to my thigh. “I’m not gonna lie to you, it’s hard that he’s there with Wyatt at times when I’m not, experiencing some of his firsts that I miss out on, but it’s not as often as you’d think, and Reid’s never stepped on my duties as a dad. He’s always asked for my input or how I felt about things before he stepped in. Even when they started dating, he asked me if he could ask her out.” He swallows and watches me. “When she found out she was pregnant, I knew she was at a point in her life where she wanted to settle down and get married, and I asked her if she wanted that and I think she laughed in my face.” He chuckles. “She’s three years older than me and I was nineteen at the time. I didn’t want those same things. At the time, I could have seen myself marrying her, to make it work, but again, I was nineteen and a professional bull rider. I didn’t want to get married and she knew that. She didn’t love me either. Not in that way at least.”
“Do you ever see yourself getting married? I bet that’s a hard concept for someone with your lifestyle.” I wave my hand around. “You know, being on the road all the time.”
