Page 102 of Untamed
A rider is seeded if he is ranked among the top 45 bull riders.
I’m an idiot. I shouldn’t have said any of that to her. I want to tell her my tone, the hatred, aggression, all of it isn’t her. It’s all on me and I’m fucking it up. I should apologize, but then what good would it do? When trust is broken, sorry means jack shit. When you act out of anger and fear, you hurt people you didn’t intend to hurt. Or did I intend to hurt her? I think part of me wanted to, so she’d leave. But she didn’t. As if I expected anything less of her.
Britany punches my shoulder in the locker room after I’m bucked off. “What the fuck was that about?”
I take a rag and wipe the sweat from my face. “What are you talking about?” I look at her, then Reid, who’s giving me that older brother, “you know you fucked-up” look.
“With Maesyn. You invited her here. You can’t just change your mind because your dumb ass got spooked. You’re acting crazy.”
She’s absolutely right, but she hasn’t seen crazy yet. “You’re not my mother, B. I don’t have to talk to you about this.”
“Yeah, sure, but I’m your best friend. That gives me the right to tell you when you’re acting like a dick. And you’re acting like a big fat cock at the moment.”
Reid and the other guys in the locker room laugh. Britany may seem sweet and innocent, or maybe not at all, but she tells me off when I need it. Like now.
“Get out of here.” I try to push her away from me but she gets back in my face.
“You need to make this right. If she’s a distraction, that’s on you for not having enough dedication to concentrate.”
“You were the one that warned me to be careful of her.”
“I meant be carefulwithher, dummy. I was looking out for that sweet girl you seduced.”
My jaw clenches. “Well, you could have been more specific.”
“No way. You’re not blaming this on me. What makes you think you can’t have her and a championship?”
I lean back against the wall, wishing she’d shut up. “She’s a distraction.”
“No, you let her become a distraction. You have everything you’ve ever wanted, or can go out and buy it. Wyatt is set for life. What makes you think you can’t have her and a career?”
I hadn’t thought of it like this. All I was focused on was one, the championship, and two, Maesyn being young. I didn’t want to be the one who ruined her. And I did, despite my efforts not to because that’s what I’m good at.
Ty stands next to us, his arms crossed over his chest. “He thinks he’s cursed because he made a wish into Mel’s hole when we were kids and can’t have love.”
That motherfucker. I scowl at Ty, feeling the need to defend myself. “I told you that in confidence.”
He laughs and nudges my shoulder. I want to hit him. “Or shit-faced drunk, but whatever. It’s a stupid concept.” He shakes his head. “You’re not cursed. You’re an asshole who needs to go grovel to the girl of his dreams.”
The dread, the draw to go find her, it radiates through me, but pride can be a motherfucker. Britany steps forward, knowing me better than I know myself. “What’s the real reason?”
I chew on my lip and draw in a deep breath knowing she’s never going to leave me alone until I tell her. “Her boyfriend died when she was fourteen. Died in a car accident. So what if something happens to me? What will that do to her?”
And that’s all I have to ask before Britany gets it. She understands where I’m coming from, even if deep down, I might not completely understand my behavior.
