Page 82 of The Legend
“Are youall right over there?” I asked dad when Casten came up to us. His hair was evensweatier than before with a big grin on his face.
“Couldn’t bebetter,” dad said in a very melodramatic way when he reached for his beer inhis pocket and tipped his head at Casten. “Why are you all wet?”
Castenstarted laughing mirthlessly at that point. “I have no idea what you’re talkingabout.” I had a feeling he was in the tent with Logan earlier and had an evenstronger feeling they had been smoking something but I wasn’t about to confirmor deny that to my dad of all people.
“Uh-huh.”Dad nodded and walked back toward my mom sitting in the chairs in front of us.
The musicchanged and everyone took their places, including Casten who was my best man.My buddy Shane and Willie were also in the wedding standing beside him.
“Lastchance to back out,” Casten whispered in my ear when Lily appeared under aflowered archway leading to us. Waves crashed behind me drowning out the faintpiano music.
I didn’treply to Casten, just smiled at my bride to be. I hoped she would understandthat my heart belonged to her and only her now.
Feature – Sway
I rememberholding him for the first time. I remember watching him take his first breathand hearing his first cry. I remember the day I found out I was pregnant withhim and that first horrifying ultrasound when I realized there was actuallylife inside of me. I remembered it all and every detail of his birth. Iremember Jameson not understanding that he blinked and hiccupped just likeevery other human being. I had visions of Charlie holding him and now smilingdown on us. I had memories of him in the pits of Bristol when he had to haveseven stitches in his knee. I remember the fits he would throw at the grocerystore or the temper tantrums when he wouldn’t get his way. I also remember hisloving side, the sweet boy would tell me he loved me before each race and hisbear hugs that he would give and only he could give. Let’s just say I was a tademotional by the time Lily joined my son and they began to exchange their vows.
“I don’tthink I can do this.” I wailed next to Arie. “Yep, I’m positive I can’t.”
“Control yourself.”Arie shook her head, not concerned about my emotional state. “You’re causing ascene.”
“Don’tjudge me until you have kids.”
“That’snever happening.” She whispered appalled. “I’m not cut out for children.”
“No,Casten’s not cut out for children. You need to provide me with somegrandbabies.” I told her in a whisper.
“I don’tthink so.” She said dismissively as one of Ami’s aunts shushed us from acrossthe aisle.
Glaringtoward the woman, I turned to Arie. “Are you really not having any kids?”
Sheshrugged. “I don’t even have a boyfriend. It’s hardly relevant right now.”
I neverthought my kids wouldn’t want kids of their own. Was this something I didwrong? Did I not provide them with a good childhood? I mean, that would causethis sort of feeling, right?
“Was I abad parent?” I voiced concerned that maybe I’d failed them in some way.
I’m notsure why, but she burst out laughing. It wasn’t meant to be funny and thethought that she found my parenting skills laughable made me that much moreemotional.
“That’snot exactly the response I was looking for.” Turning myself forward again, Istarted crying.
“Shhhh!” her Aunt said again.
Nancy whowas sitting next to Arie on my left, whispered. “What’s her problem?”
“Me?” Ipointed to myself still crying. “What’s my problem?”
Jameson,who was beside me on the right, threw his arm around me pulling me into him andkissed my forehead in deliberation. He was so sweet and understood my breakdowncompletely.
“No, her,”she pointed toward Ami’s aunt glaring at us. “Why is she so worked up?”
“It’sbecause of Arie, she’s causing a scene.”
“Mother!”Arienearly shouted back at me causing Jameson to glare at his baby girl.
“Knock itoff.” He said to no one in particular.
He wasright. We shouldn’t ruin this for them but I really wasn’t in the emotionalstate to be the mother of the groom today.
