Page 50 of The Legend
“I don’t know man,” he tossed his phone on the table nextto him. “What if they slip?”
“Hell, now you’re freaking me out.”
Getting a vasectomy wasn’t what I had planned for my Mondaybut when Sway asked me for another baby the other day, I decided it was time.Imagine the trouble a fourth kid could get into?
Spencer, the good supporting brother I always knew him tobe when I needed him, decided it was time he was cut too when Alley thought shewas pregnant last month. Being in their mid-forties, adding more kids wasn’tideal for them either. That’s how we ended up at Dr. Welling’s office indowntown Charlotte.
He stepped from his office ready to take me back whenSpencer patted my back. “Good luck brother.”
Looking back at him I mustered a smile “Yeah, you too.”
I’m not gonna lie. I was petrified.
Dr. Welling looked amused, “Two for one special todayboys?”
I wasn’t exactly okay with the doctor making jokes rightbefore he would be taking a scalpel to my manhood. I wanted him to beprofessional and focused.
He worked quickly and I appreciated that but I felt like Iwas about to give birth or something with the way he had me positioned andhonestly, I think I fainted when I saw the scalpel heading toward my gearsbecause I don’t remember much else.
Afterward, I sat in the waiting room with ice on my gearswhen Spencer came stumbling out. “Goddamn these are good drugs!” He pumped abottle in the air and smiled.
Turns out, that bottle was good. Four hours later and twobeers, we were feeling pretty good and pulling one over on Aiden and his lawn.
“Man, must be the soil.” Aiden scratched his head squintinginto the sun when I saw him some three hours later. Spencer and I had decided agood ole tractor race would be a great idea to help take our minds off ourgears. “But I don’t understand. Yours looks good. How do you get it to looklike that?”
“Because I’m awesome,” I started the tractor and took offbefore my smile gave me away.
Spencer met me around the corner near the like, laughing.“He can’t really be that dumb, can he?”
“Apparently he is.” I smiled. “I’m gonna head home now. Ithink I saw Sway and Alley come back from shopping. I’m hoping they boughtfood.”
“Cool man,” Spencer started his own tractor. “Seeyatomorrow.” He tipped his hat and sped off down thegravel road.
Sway greeted me in the garage. “How’s the gearsfeelin’ champ?”
“Sore.” Taking the keys out of the tractor, I jumped downand then regretted the move when I felt the pain between my legs. “Wanna givethem some love?”
“Isn’t that frowned upon in your condition?”
“Who cares?”
“I’m sure you will when they swell up and you can’t walk.”
I stopped at the door and looked over my shoulder at her aswe entered the house. “I’m not allowed to have sex? That’s dumb.”
“I think you probably could...” Sway hinted setting bags of groceries on the counter andthen handing me a bag of frozen corn and gave me a little shake of her hipswith a big grin. “…but I’m sure they would swell up with the motions.”
“Did you have your balls taken off today?”
“Why is she here today?” I groaned watching Rosa walk incarrying a few bags.
Rosa pushed a bag into my chest. “Go help with the bags.”
“Go clean the house and maybe I’ll help carry groceries.”
Rosa and I looked at Sway when she laughed. “You two are socute together.”
“Don’t encourage her.” I moaned heading into the familyroom with my bottle of pills and frozen corn.
