Page 196 of The Legend
“Do youremember that night after the race in Charlotte when this all began?” Her armswrapped over mine that were around her as though she was cuddling into a warmblanket, or a sweater that was soft to the touch.
“I dohoney,” I smiled remembering the anxiety that overpowered me about what Iwanted that night, a night I would remember forever. “I remember the exact lookin your eyes when I asked you to stay.”
“Me too,”She whispered pulling my hand to her lips kissing the promise I made to her.
I said itbefore and I’ll said it again because it’s the one thing I know to be truebesides the love of my wife and our family.
As I saidto my wife, and I believed this to be true, your life is measured in moments.Moments that can test you, challenge you, and moments that can make you fall toyour fucking knees, begging and pleading for all you’re worth for just one moremoment. But those moments define you as a person, the life you live, and thestory of your life. You have to take them as they come because before you knowit, you’re out of moments.
All youhave left are the memories.
So whenyou think you’ve forgotten and you realize nothing lasts forever, look back tothose memories because they do last forever.
My lifecouldn’t be summed up for me as being just a legendary race car driver as thosetimes were simply just snapshots. Clips of what my life really was. My lifebehind the blaring spotlight became the shadows I knew and who I really was. Iwas the son of two of the greatest people I know. I was a brother to two of themost giving and unselfish people a sibling could ask for. I was a husband to awoman who I cherished more than anything, a father to three children thatshowed me more about who I was than I ever thought possible and now a proudgrandfather.
Those werethe greatest memories I had.
Exhaust Stroke – Sway
Sittingthere with Jameson, being back around dirt racing was what our family needed.It was where our love story began and healed us from the scars we thought wouldnever mend.
There’ssomething about the human heart that most never consider. It can be broken andripped apart by this world, shattered beyond your belief. But what makes itbeat again?
Love,family, sex, trust, all of it can heal a heart. I would know.
When I’mold, I want to remember certain parts of my life and hold onto them forever.
I want toremember holding my children, vowing forever to my best friend, painting mynails with my mom, watering a dirt track with my dad, Jimi with his smart assremarks and Nancy with her compassion. I want to remember everyone in my familyfor what they brought to me.
Love.
WatchingJameson prior to Charlie’s memorial race we had every year, it was easy to seenow that he longed for the moment that he could be at peace with his past,dreamed of it even, but it would never come without a fight. Finally,surrounded by everything that made Jameson Riley who he was, he was finallyliving where the clay met rubber.
From theday we met, to now, we’d come full circle, back to where the clay met rubberand desire defined greatness. Jameson went back to where he always feltcomfortable, a dirt track. There was no pressing media here and nothing forcinghim to race but his own desire. Sure we had challenges but they were different.
Sitting onhis lap, gently, his lips touched mine, brushing softly before pulling away.“My wife,” he said softly as he drew me close. My senses engulfed with him, thetrack, and our love.
“I loveyou, honey.” He murmured holding me tighter.
Jamesontook pride and poured everything he had into everything he did. Now wasn’t anydifferent.
I honestlydon’t think anyone can capture the vulnerability, magic, sensitivity, charm andpure greatness of this man I’ve loved all these years. He influenced andcontributed to the racing world in ways no one ever had or ever will. Peopleused to come from miles around just to see him race. Those were the people thatunderstood. The people that stood in line for hours just to meet him prior to arace or stayed until the wee hours of the morning watching him celebrate aftera victory. Those were the people that captured the magic that was JamesonRiley. It was a magic that consumed me in every way.
He taughtme the love and the passion he held for a sport that changed our lives andintertwined them to the point that there was no us without it.
In turn, Igave him everything I had to give. I gave him my heart, my body, my soul andthree wonderful kids.
Thegreatest man I had ever known.
Thinkingback on my life, the fairytales of my childhood made perfect sense to me, butthat wasn’t what I ended up with. I hadmyversion of the fairytale. Theglass slipper fit me. The dirty heathen turned into my prince and my soul wasawakened with his kiss. And once upon at a dirt track, we found our happy rightnow.
Our lives wereso twisted and turned that we couldn’t find our way back to where it all beganand I was okay with that. The reality, the dream, was better than anyfairytale.
I’llalways remember the feeling I got when I knew I loved Jameson. I’ve held itwith me like a secret gift all these years. It’s a fire in me that burns tothis day. Some fires never go out.
Somelights burn forever.
My lovefor him burned forever.
Jamesonlooked at me and breathed, the night air seized around us but I only saw him ashe waited for my gaze to meet his. “I’ll tell you something, honey,” His fingertraced my lips, “Something that a race could never offer me, something that’sworth all the aches and tears in the world. Something I believe in.”
“What’sthat?”
His eyesshined as he spoke about a passion that held us as one.“Aman and woman in love.”
Where theclay met rubber and desire defined greatness, a love was formed in a world ofadrenaline and desire. Whether that lovebefor asport that consumed your life or a man and woman in love, a taste would neverbe enough. Over tragedy and triumph, you fight, you don’t give in and you seewithin the shadows of the blaring spotlight why you did so.
Ibelieved, as Jimi once said, believe in love and hold onto it with everythingyou have as it’s the only real legend of our time.
The End