Page 148 of The Legend
With agrin, he looked over his shoulder at me, after fumbling with the stereo,shaking with laughter as the sounds ofBump n’ Grindbellowed throughour stereo. “I’ve got some ground to make up, honey.”
And oh goddid we do some making up. He had me bending in directions I hadn’t bent inyears. We did the rough sex again, without the emotional anger of the previousnights, he smacked my ass a few times, tied me up, all that shit.
We did itbecause we had that connection again. We found a new groove.
I’m notsure what the change was, or that we just stopped trying so hard, but we foundit and I couldn’t have been more thankful for that and the words that made memoan.
Luckilyour kids must have known we needed to be alone and we spent the greater part ofthe day in there reuniting. It felt so good to have him back.
When thesun fell in the sky and the dark began to dance shadows around the room,eventually leaving it dark aside from the candle he lit when we broke the lamp.
My earpressed to his chest listening to the steady rhythm of his heart shiftingthrough memories of our lives like photographs. His hand moved from beingwrapped around my shoulder, down my back to my spine. His touch was soft, justlike his words. My palm pressed to his chest in front of my face, my wedding ringcapturing the amber glow of the candle as it through sparkles around the room.
His lowrasp sent shivers through me as he repeated the words that meant so much to thetwo of us that we permanently anchored them to our hearts. “The light willbring to life what shadows keep hidden.”
This exactposition was the reason we had gotten these tattoos as it was our favoriteplace to be. Covered in skin with my head on his chest and his hands wrappedaround me was where a love was formed in the shadows and brought to life whenwe least expected it.
Tearsspilled out the corners of my eyes as they did for him too, feeling him,feeling me, feeling us.
There’s away a man holds a woman when he’s trying to take away the pain.When his heart is breaking right along with hers.It’s thekind of shit that drenches your shirt in blubbering snot and takes your breathaway. It’s a hold that speaks volumes and nothing at all. It’s a hold thatcan’t be broken by words, time, nothing. It’s just a hold.Ahold telling everything but saying nothing.
That nextmorning, Jameson left for Charlotte for his next test session and exam withNASCAR. Rolling over with a smile, I remembered his touch, the words, thefeeling of him moving inside of me. Everything that happened last night feltlike the first time again.
Watchingthe wind softly blow through our room, I noticed his gift to me.
There, onthe night stand beside an iced mocha was a letter. I nearly giggled. It hadbeen years since he wrote me a letter.
Sway,
So many timesover the last few months I’ve wanted to ease your pain - tell you thateverything was going to be all right - but I didn’t know if it would. Ialso knew that it wouldn’t changeanything if I didn’t feelit.
Watchingyou sleep now, I’mreminded of what I haven’tconsidered over that time and what I nearly lost.You.
I know I’ve beendistant and unlike the man you grew to love surrounded by one dream and onelifestyle. Tonight, to feel you, to feel me, and to feel us once again, as one,was like being able to breathe again.
Our lovewas cultivated in the shadows and at a time that we least expected it and itshines through the darkest of moments, never fading, always triumphing over theheartache we have suffered.
You arethe light that pulls the boy in me from anonymity and gives me a true purposein a life of vulnerability and frustration. I wonder, looking at you in thepurest form, if I could have been a better husband or father. I wonder if youknow how much I love you and think the world of you.
Withoutyou, all the trophies and titles in the world mean nothing. In the blindingspotlight my life has created, it’s you that brings me back.
Yourlife is measured in moments. Moments that test you, challenge you, and momentsthat make you fall to your fucking knees, begging and pleading for all you’re worthfor just one more moment.
Withyou, I don’t wantto ever be out of moments. I want to feel my heated check against your skin asthe word stay is spoken. I want to watch your eyes light up when I vow forever.I want to watch you hold three precious angels. I want to laugh with you, crywith you, and be one with you.Forever one heart and onesoul.
I’ll neverlet you go.
Youare where my heart belongs
Jameson
26.Apron – Jameson
Apron – Apaved portion at the bottom of the racetrack that separates the racing surfacefrom the usually unpaved field.
“Ipassed.” He beamed dropping to his knees before me. “They cleared me for theCoca Cola 600 race on Saturday.”
Relieved,he started instantly going in for what I knew he wanted.
