Page 130 of The Legend
Shutting thetruck off, I looked over at her tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.“Baby, please don’t fall into the trap of trying to fix things by having sexwith boys. It doesn’t work. I tried and it got me nowhere.”
“Did youhave sex before dad?”
“Yes, witha few people. My first time was in the back of a truck.” I admitted with a goodamount of shame remembering the feeling that had knowing I had been used byDylan and distinctly recalling the bruises I received too. “I know what you’refeeling.”
Thebiggest question was did I honestly know what she was feeling right now?
No. Ididn’t. I didn’t because for one, she gave herself to a boy again and that boytried to kill her dad. No one could understand what she was feeling any morethan they could understand what Nancy was feeling or Jameson. Guilt,resentment, hatred, sadness were all justifiable emotions.
“Did youand dad...well,” her faceflushed with pink, her eyes falling to her phone in her hands, “did you gettogether before?”
“Before marriage?”
“No, likein high school?” she clarified.
Wasthis appropriate?I thoughtto myself looking around for Alley. She usually helped me through theseconversations with Arie since she had usually already had them with Lexi.
“Your dadand I were best friends when we were growing up and yes, we did do things whenwe were youngerbutwe never had sex until we were twenty-three.”
“Did youalways know that you wanted to be with him?”
Whatwas this?I felt like I wasback atPlanned Parenthoodbeing questioned when I went there to getcondoms when I was seventeen.
“Now thatI think about it, I was attracted to him from the very beginning. But withJameson, he was so dedicated to racing that anything we had together was adistraction. After years of ignoring it, we finally gave in.” I laughed andmotioned around the car to her.“Obviously.”
Ariethought for a moment and then smiled. “Easton asked me on a date.”
I couldn’tbelieve it. Even with everything going on between Jameson and Grady and all theshit surrounding thisclusterfuck, my daughter wasconfiding in me. And to top it off, a good guy was interested in her.
I leanedover and kissed the side of her head. “He seems like a good kid sweetie.”
Emma waspounding on my window so our mother-daughter-moment was up. Rolling down thewindow just a smidge, I stuck the straw to my coffee out the window allowingEmma to take a drink. She did and we both laughed.
“Do youever find your aunt annoying?” I asked Arie glaring at Emma through the glass.She stuck her tongue out but smiled.
“I find myentire family annoying at times.” My glare shifted to Arie. “But...I love you guys. I just don’t like yousometimes.”
“Wow, youare so much like your father it’s scary.”
“Come on,”Arie opened the door. “Let’s go put together a disaster.”
A disasterit would be if Grady showed up. Charges hadn’t been filed against Grady yetbecause we hadn’t done so. Phillip, our attorney, was working on it. Untilthen, Van and Clint kept a close eye on him. Unfortunately, they couldn’t stophim from showing up tonight.
The entiretime we were setting everything up my mind wouldn’t settle, racing througheverything that happened this morning with Arie and Jameson and the entireGrady situation. Jimi’s conversation rang through me, him not trusting Gradyand not acting sooner led us here. The pain brought the prospect that onceagain, I was watching from a distance as my husband fell apart.
My otherproblem was that Arie had been involved. You try so hard to protect yourchildren whether it’s breastfeeding or formula, what preschool to send them to,what kindergarten, and all the way up to when they’re teenagers and who theirfriends are.
Are thosefriends responsible?
Will theymake good decision?
Will theybe able to see their dreams come true?
So much ofour lives are unpredictable and frightening. You don’t know what the next leftturn will be or how you’re going to handle after the next caution flag. It’s agamble.
Aftereverything that happens, we want to show our family we love them, maybe hugthem a little tighter when we learn of tragedy. My answer, always do that.
Alwaystell them you love them. Always make the best of it. Someday you won’t have theoption.
