Page 121 of The Legend
I stillwasn’t entirely sure that I could race again. Would my body let me?
I was suredouble vision at 200 mph wouldn’t be ideal and when it took me five minutesjust to go to the bathroom, I was positive getting inside a race car wouldn’tbe easy.
Anotherreason for my frequent visitors was from my threats to leave the hospital. Itwas as though I was now on hospital arrest. It was like a goddamn high securityprison.
Emma wasthere the morning of the Fontana race that Easton, the kid driving my car,qualified for the pole.
“Do youneed some help?” Emma asked when I moved myself to the edge of the bed.
“No, leaveme alone.” I grumbled crutching my way to the bathroom. Those damn crutcheswere stupid but my pelvis was still healing and the less weight I put on my legsthe easier it was.
“I wasonly trying to help your cranky ass.”
“Couldhave fooled me,” I yelled over my shoulder in Emma’s direction. She found themost entertainment in making fun of me and took way too many pictures of mecrippled.
“Nice,asshole!” I heard the door slam behind her, thankful she finally decided toleave.
I sentSwaya message when the race began.
Thanks a lot for sending over my sister. Ithought you loved me!
Shereplied instantly.
I do love you but you need tosupervisedmister. She’s the only one willing.
It wastrue. Most people wouldn’t come see me anymore because I usually kicked themout.
I wasmoody. It had nothing to do with anyone in particular. I was just moody. Iguarantee if it were them spending nearly nine weeks in the hospital, theywould be moody too. I also, well; I was starting to get my sex drive back. Iwanted my wife. I wanted to be alone with her. I wanted to not have brokenbones and blinding headaches and I want to show her how much I missed her. Iwanted to kiss every inch of her, feel her sweat on me, watch her move above meas I filled her and pushed her to her limits. I wanted to hear her scream myname with her hands buried in my hair.
Fuck!
Those werethe times I had to physically stop the reactions I was having. The first time Igot hard since the accident was when Sway showed me her boobs one morning. God,I wanted her so bad that morning but simply kissing her was painful because Icouldn’t stop, I wanted more. I wanted more so bad. It even got to the pointwhere I tried to take care of the intense erections I would get when I wasallowed to shower. I would get half way there and a nurse would check on me andthen it would throw my concentration, or the mood, and I would be left with thedesire. And then when I would get there and be able to feel some sort ofrelease, it wouldn’t happen. I wanted my wife. I wanted the closeness that sheprovided and the warm comforting feeling of touching her skin against mine. Itwas torture of the worst kind both mentally and physically.
The nursestook the brunt of it but they deserved it with the stupid comments.
Oneafternoon, the one I despised the most, was not very nice with needles. Icouldn’t understand why they needed so much blood from me anyway. Where theytrying to clone me?
Well shecame back after taking blood and missing my vein four times. I now had a hugeholethe size of a dime in my goddamn arm.
“So itlooks like you blood pressure is great.” She said with the same enthusiasm sheused when she said. “Oh, look, we finally found the vein.”
I lookedat Sway while the nurse smiled at me.
“OhgreatSway, I have a cracked pelvis. I can’t have sex for months. I see doublevision, my entire body feels like someone beat the living shit out of me with afucking bat and she says I have good blood pressure.” I took a deep breath.“Wow, I guess I have nothing to worry about.” I finished with a particular souredge.
“Jameson!”Sway scolded with wide eyes as if I just committed murder. She turned to thenurse. “I’m sorry about him.”
“Don’t be...he told me to get the hell out earlier. I’mgetting used to it.”
“Obviouslynot, you came back.” I added.
I wasn’tsure who wanted me to leave more, the hospital staff or me. Either way, Icouldn’t wait for my time to be up here.
Visitorscame and went but one person who stayed away was Spencer. He wasn’t dealingwith the death very well. Hell, none of us were but Spencer had a lot going onwith the Cup team and trying to keep everything going.
He was nolonger on the pit crew, instead he took over as the car chief so Mason could beback at the shop ensuring all the mechanics there were done correctly. Afterthe mishap in Homestead last year, we made a lot of changes back at the shop.
Our entirelives had shifted because of this one incident. It left little time formourning but there were the occasional conversation of remembrance that tookplace. It took weeks before anyone would indulge on the details of the incidentthat I could remember. And when they did, it hit me just as hard.
