Page 111 of The Legend
Castenwoke up, hungry of course, and smiled at me. He was always good for a smile. “Itold grandma I would get her some ice cream. Do you want anything? Lane’s gonnatake me to the store.”
“Yeah,some water would be great.” I reached inside my purse on the floor for money.“Here…”
He tookthe money and then gave me a look.The look.“You needto eat mom. I’ll get you food too.” Just as he was about to leave, he stoppedby the glass door and looked back at Jameson and then me and smiled again. “Youmight want to tuck in that picture, mom.”
I tried notto laugh, but I did. That picture from the magazine, the one next to the condomad, yeah well I had that folded up in my bra. It’s right where Jameson wouldhave wanted to be. So I put him there.
WhenJameson woke up a few hours later, I was right by Jameson’s side again.
“Can I getyou anything?”
He seemedconfused for a few minutes, taking in the room and me, and then closed his eyesbefore looking over at the window. His gaze was that distant cold shield that Icouldn’t judge. Jameson was there but there were times when I could tell hestillwasn’tthere.
This wouldtake time and I knew that but he also surprised me with how much of him wasreally there. I guess you could say the instincts were there, he wanted to belucid, and he was fighting like hell to be but his body was telling him hewasn’t ready.
He lookedback at me, his fingers moved toward mine over the blanket, searching. QuicklyI reached for him not wanting him to move too much. “Are you cold?”
He closedhis eyes again, sighing. Wincing once again, he let out a shaky breath.
“I-I-I...lo…ve...you-u-u.”He croaked; his voice raspy and rough, thosesomnolent bloodshot eyes looked up at me.
“Oh godJameson...I love you too!” I felt a gush from theslightest bit of hope that I had in days. He knew me.
Looking athim now, I couldn’t help but think that it would be a long road to recovery forhim physically but emotionally, would he recover? I couldn’t help think aboutwhat happened with Darrin and that took him nearly twenty years to come to termswith. Would this be the same?
“Pleasedon’t blame yourself Jameson. It’s not your fault.” I told him stroking myfingers gently over his hands. I noticed they were bruised so I lifted myfingers.
I felt himtry to take in a deep breath but winced once more. He never responded to me,just stared at me. His eyes were tired and I could tell he was minutes awayfrom falling asleep again.
But hesurprised me when he asked.“Wh-h-at?”
“Do youwant to know what happened?”
He made aslight nod with his head, just enough to indicate he wanted to know more.
“You andJimi were racing side-by-side for the lead when his tire blew. The axle andbearings came apart. He cut down directly in front of you. They airlifted bothof you from Knoxville. You were conscious when you arrived but were in an outand then you stopped breathing. They took you into surgery right away since hehad a lateral fracture to you skull.” I paused. He was looking out the windowagain, the sun had just set. The colors reflected against the white snow. Iwondered if this was too much but he looked at me when I hadn’t spoken for amoment. His eyes told me to continue.
“Jimishowed no signs of response after the accident and wasn’t breathing. Theyperformed CPR at the track and for nearly an hour at the hospital but theyweren’t able to revive him. His spinal cord was severed at the base of hisneck.”
Jamesontensed again, grunting at the onset of pain from his muscles tensing.
“Theytried everything to bring him back baby. I’m sorry.”
He made thetiny nod again. “Co...m...e...clos-s-ser.”His speech was hard to decipher but understood what he was asking.
I did,carefully and laid my head next to his.
“W-w-as anyone?”I could tell he was trying hard to speak but it was difficult for him and incrediblypainful.
“Wasanyone else hurt?”
He noddedcarefully, the motion caused him to gasp and then tense at the onset ofadditional pain. I waited for him to relax before speaking.
“A fewguys were checked out at the track but it was just you and Jimi that wereairlifted.”
“Axe-l-l-l?”
“He’sfine, baby. A little shaken up but he’s fine.” I saw another tear slip down hischeek and brushed it away with my fingertips. “Please don’t blame yourself.Your mom, your kids,me, the rest of your family needs you right now. Wecan’t do this alone.”
