Page 95 of The Champion
My phone began vibrating with calls from Kyle and dadwondering where I was.
Sway knew I needed to leave and always knew the anxiety Ifelt toward this. She always knew that I didn’t want to leave.
“Youhaveto Jameson. It’s your job.”
“I just want to be with you guys.” I told her lookingdown at our kids in her arms. “Nothing else matters right now.”
She smiled and kissed my hand that was wrapped around hercheek.
“You know that I don’t hold it against you...and neither do they.” She gestured towardAxel and Arie who were both asleep. “We love you no matter what. We love youeven though you have to leave when our baby girl is only hours old. Weloveyou, Jameson.”
Kneeling next to the bed, I nodded and reached for Axel’stiny hand. His finger instinctively wrapped around mine as he slept. There wasno doubt in my mind that they loved me...butit didn’t change the fact that it hurt to leave.
An hour later, I was on the jet back to Atlanta withSpencer.
“This feels wrong.” I told Spencer who sat next to me.
“I know what you mean.” He sighed. “We missed the birthof our children today and now we’re leaving when they’re not even a day old.”
“You know you don’t have to do this.” I offered. “I caneasily find someone to fill your place for a few weeks. You can stay with yourfamily.”
He didn’t hesitate before looking up from his phone atme.
“I know that. But you’re my family too. I don’t do thisjust because it’s a job, Jameson. I never have. I love what I do and I lovethat we’re all a family doing it together. Alley understands that because it’sthe same reason she does it. It’s more than a job to us. It’s our way of life.”
Racing can control every aspect of your life if you letit. But the thing was that was my life. There was no controlling it. It ownedall of us. Sway understood why I needed to be in Atlanta Saturday night, itmarked the end of the regular season and the chance to make it into the chase.The points between the top four were so close. I couldn’t afford to risk aback-up driver. It needed to be me in the car.
So I went to Atlanta and left my wife, my son, and myinfant baby girl back home.
The sacrifices...theynever got easier.
14.Catch Can – Sway
Catch Can – Asmaller can with a spout held at the overfill port to catch the gas spilledover. This can also allow the air trapped in the tank to vent faster thannormal, critical for faster pit stops.
“I want owc cleam!” The tiny vein in my soon to befour-year old son’s neck was popping out as he said this.
“You want what?”
“Owc cleam!”
Laughing I contemplated what that meant. “I’m guessingyou mean ice cream?”
“That’s what I said.”
Oh geez, now he sounds like Lane.
“No, you said owc cleam. I don’t even know what that is andit doesn’t sound edible. It sounds like a kitchen cleaner or something.”
“Mama...I justneedit.” Axel told me, his intense vibrant green eyes focused on the bowl I washolding full of his favorite peanut butter ice cream with chocolate syrup.
Apparently, all the Ben and Jerry ice cream I’d eatenwhile pregnant with him had rubbed off and he was just as enthusiastic towardthe fluffy wonderful creation as me.
I remembered the first time we gave him ice cream. It wasduring a rain delay in Atlanta.
Atlanta Georgia during the summer is miserable regardlessif it’s raining or not, so during that particular rain break we fed our 6-monthold son ice cream. From that point on, every time someone had ice cream it wasas though Axel knew and would do just about anything to get some of it, similarto me.
Axel was similar to me in many ways but he resembledJameson. You could look at him and know exactly who his father was. He had the sameexpressions, same attitude and same quirky skin phobia (he barely let me putsoap on him.) But what got most people was how much he looked like him in theface.
