Page 8 of The Champion
“Jameson...” Igently tried to push him off so I could go to the bathroom.
He wasn’t budging.
“Jameson, if you don’t get the hell off me I will pissmyself in this bed. And not only is that gross, but you will then be lying inpiss, so GET OFF!” I yelled trying to push him off again.
“Noooo...mom. It’snot my turn to wear the bunny suit...”
What does he dream about?
I pushed him again.
“Grrr...”
Did he just growl at me?
Suddenly, kneeing him in his timing gears was lookingtempting as the adorable flailing spaz started kicking me in my bladder. If youdon’t know what timing gears are, they are gears bolted directly to thecamshaft. And the camshaft, well, that was my word for a penis.
“JAMESON!” I yelled feeling the vibrations of my voice. Ishould feel bad that I just yelled at him but seriously, he was lyingpractically on top of me. I was eight months pregnant and have a baby pushingon my bladder. I understood he was tired after the Christmas Eve we had and wehad to be at his parent’s early in the morning, but damn it, I needed to pee!
“Grr...need...sleeeppppeee.” He mumbled as he rolledaway.
Once he rolled off, I didn’t have time to laugh at him. Iwas now starting to dribble pee down my thighs as I got out of bed.
As soon as I stood, I peed all over the carpet.
Shit that’s just embarrassing.
“Damn you Jameson...”
If he would have let me out of bed when I needed to go,this wouldn’t have happened.
I also couldn’t understand why pregnancy was sodisgusting?
I mean, so far I haven’t seen anything good about it.People say pregnancy is beautiful but I think that is just a crock of shit. My asswas huge. My ankles looked like they belonged to shamoo or one of his distantrelatives and I couldn’t sleep. And I was pretty sure I changed my underwear atleast four times a day from the lack of bladder control. And let’s not forgetabout the lack of sex this last week because I honestly felt too damn fat to beeven remotely interested in Jameson’s camshaft anywhere near my crankcase.After all, that camshaft is the reason I have all these problems. I used to beattached to him but now...I wanted todetachhim.
While walking into the bathroom, I was momentarilydistracted by the fact that my thighs were rubbing together. Something I nevernoticed until now and yet another dislike to add to my “growing list”.
Jameson must have woke up to my grumbling, which Ithought was internal but apparently, once again, was not.
“Sway, why did you pee on the floor?” He asked wiping hiseyes to focus on me.
I hadn’t realized what time it was but I glanced at theclock and saw that it was only four am.
“Because you’re an asshole and wouldn’t get off me.” Isnapped and waddled to the bathroom with a towel between my legs, I slammeddoor behind me hoping to wake him up.
He chuckled.My husbandchuckled at mymisery.
Jerk.
When I sat down on the toilet, more pee came out, andmore and more. It was an endless flow of fluid, so I thought. I wondered if Ihad any body fluids left.
When I thought I was done, I started to get up. When Istood, a gush came out but this time it appeared to be tinted pink.
Confused about this, I reached for the pregnancy book onthe back of the toilet and skimmed through the pages. I found what I neededsince Emma had tabbed the pages of labor for me.
That’s when I went through the checklist for the signs oflabor.
Back ache...check.
