Page 54 of The Champion
He threw his head back in a fit of laughter and thenstopped suddenly, glaring. “It’s just a scratch.”
He was mocking me and I was not having it.
“That’s a scratch.” I pointed at his shark scratch.“This,” I gestured toward my very red welted calf and quite possibly the worstjelly fish burn ever handed out. “Is a sting...anditBURNS!”
“I refuse to have this argument with you again.” Hisfiery stare shut me up, for a moment.
I sat there in the hot white sand, blowing on my jellyburn when he chuckled. “It’d be a lot simpler if you’d just admit for one, it’smore than a scratch and two, let merelievethe pain.” He then followedthis shit head of a statement with a wink.
Resorting back to childlike tendencies when angry, Ithrew sand in his face. “Jerk,”
Our entire trip was like that.
When out-and-about, it was horrible. When alone togetherin the confines of the house, nothing else matter but us.
All of this just led to one thing, we said fuck it on theexploring and just had sex.
A part of me wondered if this would be our marriage. Ifso, we’d spend a large amount of time inside.
When it was time to leave I think we were both ready tosee Axel.
This was the longest we’d been away from him and Icouldn’t wait to see his smiling face. For only being two months old he smiledmore than any baby I’d ever seen.
Why wouldn’t he smile?
His parents were awesome. Sure, we were inept as hell butstill...awesome.
I knew the trip home would be just as much of acatastrophe as the trip here but I was surprised to see that it was actuallyworse.
It started with the boat ride back to Rio De Janeiro,where Jameson vomited twice over the side of the boat but refused to admit thathe was seasick.
Instead he blamed it on the amount of water he’dswallowed in the waterfall we found on the island.
Yes, he did swallow an abundance of water but it washardly my fault. He was the one that who thought it would be cool to fuck upagainst the rocks beneath the steady stream of water. We had to stop after afew minutes because for one, we did ingest a great deal of water, and two,something slimy was near us and I really didn’t want to hear about anotherscratch from Jameson.
Originally, I was envisioning it to be comparable tosomething out of theCocktailmovie with Tom Cruise but it was nothinglike that at all.
Have you ever tried it? Water splashes you in the face,it’s hard to steady your feet, and did I mention that there was something slimyin there with us?
The hilarious part about the entire escapade was measking Jameson his thoughts on the penis fish. I’d never seen him run so fast.
The airplane ride was similar to the flight there butwhat sealed the deal and made this quite possibly the worst trip ever was whenthe guy sitting behind Jameson’s seat, kept kicking him.
Utterly annoyed, he rolled his head over to one side,side-eying me. “I’m gonna fucking kill him if he kicks my seat one more time.”
“Just relax,” I urged in a calm voice I’d perfected sincemarrying him and becoming a parent. “I’d like to go home, not jail.”
Just as I expected, the asshole kicked Jameson’s seatagain. What happened next was another experience in my life that was difficultto describe. Jameson and the asshole behind us got in a fight, an actualfistfight brawl over kicking chairs.
My response as we were being escorted to security once welanded in Dallas. “Nice job asshole. Real fucking mature.”
Nursing a bloody lip he said, “He had it coming.”
Jameson was placed on a “No Fly” list for threatening aflight attendant and punching a security guard...securityguard being the guy that was kicking his chair. Who knew.
Needless to say, to actually get home, Wes had to comeget us because Jameson was not allowed to fly with normal people any longer.
When he returned from security I asked, “How’d that workout for you? Feel good about yourself?”
