Page 22 of The Champion
Jameson took off to find Lucas.
I wasnotimpressed with Logan and Lucas thatevening. They were either crying or laughing. I couldn’t understand how twosix-year old kids could be so annoying.
Around nine that night, everyone finally left and we wereonce again alone with the baby.
You know that feeling you get when everything is right inthe world; you’re calm and collected?
That was not us at all, especially when it came time tobath him that night. Andrea and Nancy offered to stay but we were adamant thatwe could do this on our own.
Half way through the bath, I was ready to call them.
We had more soap and water on us than the baby, and letme tell you, we had an abundance of water and entirely too much soap for onebaby.
Poor Axel just whimpered away. It was evident he sensedwe had no idea what we were doing.
“You have got too much soap on him.” I told Jameson whilehe tried to wash his baby boy parts.
“No I don’t.”
“Yes...yes youdo.”
“No I don’t.” he stated firmly turning to glare at meholding our soapy baby in the air.
What did Axel do? He peed mid-air all over Jameson.
This made me happy.
“Apparentlyyou’llneed more soap.” I told himhanding over the soap giggling hysterically.
My giggling turned to shrieking when Jameson turned Axelon me.
I was now the one being peed on while Jameson laughed hisass off. This made me unhappy.
“Whhaa...whhaa...” Axel started crying and momentarilyshocked us.
I say momentarily because he was still peeing on us.
“See...he doesn’tlike his mommy peed on.” I smiled at both of them holding a towel up to coverthe stream.
“I’m sorry little man,” Jameson set him back in thewater. “mommy asked for it.” He turned to look over at me, amused. “Husband one.Wife zero.”
“Oh hell no, we’re not starting that again.”
“Yes...yes weare.”
For being only four days old, Axel made the mostexpressive faces. The one he was currently making made me smile. It was a setscowl at Jameson, and kind of resembled the one Jameson gave most people. Hewasn’t impressed with our argument. I guess I wouldn’t be either if I was nakedin a bath and the two people who were supposed to be washing me were arguing.
Eventually we finished the bathing ritual. I couldn’tbelieve how much work these tiny humans were.
So far, today I got up, fed him, burped him, changed himand then rocked him to sleep. I must have done that ten times.
Once I finished up and he was asleep for a nap, itstarted all over again a few hours later.
It was exhausting. I felt bad for women who have twins ortriplets or worse, six babies.
What were they thinking?
I didn’t get any better at being a new mommy. In fact, Ithink it took a turn for the worst after a few days. I couldn’t understandwhere the normal version of me had disappeared to. It was like she was onvacation.
