Page 19 of The Champion
Axel simply let out a whimper again but didn’t cry asJameson began to change his diaper, all the while providing the baby with acommentary of what he was doing, which I found incredibly enduring.
Watching my husband with our son was probably right upthere with feeling him touch my stomach while I was pregnant. I feltunbelievably close to him now.
All those years of being his pit lizard, I was so muchmore now. I was Mama Wizard.
Jameson, as though he could hear my thoughts, tilted hishead at me with a wink.
I giggled when he held Axel up and the blanket fell off, leavinghim in just his diaper, blinking at Jameson. I almost said,“Hey look, heblinks!”but didn’t.
“What are you doing?”
“Putting clothes on him,”
“It’d help if you actually had clothes—that’s a receivingblanket.”
Jameson held up the blanket, examining it. “Well nowonder I couldn’t find the arm holes.”
I giggled again and reached for the parenting books.
Our families stayed away that night and let us enjoy ourbaby together, alone. The nurse insisted we shouldn’t sleep with the baby, infear we’d squish him.
Did we listen? No, we slept in bed together, all three ofus.
Being a mother is something incredible.
Aside from the physical abuse they put you through in thebeginning then there are the late night cravings. The smells of awful gas thatyou thought could never come from you. The bloating, the gaining weight, moodswings, swelling, tiredness...shall Icontinue?
And then you have labor that quite literally made merethink my gender selection.
What the fuck went wrong there?
Regardless, after that horrendous experience, you arehanded this child. A brand new child. One that’s never had to experience allthe wrong that can happen in the world.
I’ve heard people tell me that the child you have is theone you were meant to have.
Did the child know that?
Or was it something where when they were assigningparental units, he got the short stick?
I honestly don’t think he would have chosen me willingly.
All that aside, I was handed a baby and expected not toruin it.
I also couldn’t understand why they didn’t come with amanual. A car, any electronic device, hell, even my toaster comes with afucking manual. Why couldn’t a child?
So there you are...sweatinglike a pro wrestler and staring down at this tiny child who drew the short stickand hoping he couldn’t sense the fear. And then their eyes open and you see allthose fears slip away.
After all, they are new. There was plenty of time tobrainwash them into thinking youdoknow what you’re doing.
The next morning our families arrived. This was anotherscenario where the result was not at all positive.
Five minutes after Alley and Spencer arrived with Lane,Jameson and Spencer were arguing about a football game on the TV, Alley washolding Axel and cooing non-stop to the point where it was actually annoying meand Lane was being the cool little dude he was and making sure I had everythingI needed. That part was enjoyable.
“Do you need ice?” he asked ready to run to get it.
I looked at the full pitcher of ice and smiled at him.“You know...I think I could use a littlemore buddy.”
He smiled and off he went to find more.
