Behind the track was a motocross track so it was rare ifany of us saw our children during the day. Lane was competing in races aroundNorth and South Carolina and racking up some nice wins so Jameson put in atrack for him as well. Our property became the local hangout.
Arie would be turning four this year and was without adoubt, in love with her father. She was absolutely nothing like me. I wonderedat times if she was even mine. Arie loved clothes, painting her nails, doingher hair...girly things. I was convincedshe was conceived for Emma. Having two little asshole children of her own whowere only into dirt and destroying things, she had nobody to govern the girlyworld with so that’s where my sweet little Arie and Lexi came in. They adored theiraunt Emma.
Then there was Casten, mama’s boy. He’d just turned twoand while he acted like your typical two-year old, Casten wasn’t a fit thrower.He laughed, all the time. It was actually kind of strange but the kid thoughteverythingwas funny and had the most infectious laugh.
Last year, Jameson had won the championship and TurkeyNight, Chili Bowl and was well on his way to winning the Daytona 500 this yearwhen he got caught up in a wreck on the last lap. His career was taking offwhich left him with no time for anything.
On top of that, he turned thirty in July. He wasn’t wildabout turning thirty, especially in a sport like racing. It meant that he wasno longer the kid in the series. He was now looked at as being a wise driver,so to speak, who does not throw fits. Now if you knew Jameson, you knew thiswas basically out of the question. He still threw stuff after races; got in thefaces of other drivers; was fined for aggressive driving and received asuspension for one race when he punched a NASCAR official for telling him hewas setting a bad example for his son. I’m almost certain punching the officialwas not the most mature way of handling that but we’re talking about Jameson.
I was going about life as I always did, just going withthe flow. Our kids were growing, Jameson was happy, I was happy, our family washappy. What more could we ask for, right?
I would ask not to get old.
Do you ever wake up in the morning, look in the mirrorand wonder how the fuck you got so goddamn old? I did. Every day, I spottedanother reminder that I was no longer twenty-three but instead, turning thirty.
Now I was pulling gray hairs out, yelling at my kids moreoften from lack of patience, waxing in area’s I never expected hair to grow,let alone be gray, and finding the need to exercise daily to keep my ass undercontrol.
Getting old sucked. Much like pregnancy, I couldn’t finda singled thing I enjoyed, well, physically that is. Emotionally I wasextremely happy. I just think I was wearing this body out. I wonder if theyoffered replacements.
In late August, my fears of getting old finally got thebest of me.
Jameson had a bi-week before heading into the race inAtlanta and was once again at the shop with Tommy making changes to the sprintcars before Knoxville Nationals.
Once Arie and Casten were down for naps and Axel wasspeeding around the track out back, I finally had a moment to rest and clean upthe paint Arie spilled in the kitchen before Jameson saw it. I can only imaginewhat he’d say when he saw the mess. If you thought he was obsessive aboutanything touching his skin, he had the same reactions to cleanliness around thehouse. Now if only he could manage to clean up after himself.
When he finally got home around ten that night, I wasexhausted.
With the extreme events those kids had put me throughtoday; sex was not on my agenda. My dirty heathen had other ideas and as soonas Casten fell asleep, he was attacking me.
I tried to get into the mood for him because we seldomwere alone these days but I was exhausted. Can you honestly blame me with threeof Jameson Riley’s children around to annoy me all day? In one day they spilledan entire can of paint in the kitchen and Axel jumped his quarter midget overthe pool followed by Lane jumping his dirt bike (they’d been watching Jamesonand Spencer too much these days). Arie and Lexi put make-up on Casten and Cole.Casten decided to try out Mr. Jangles litter box and Mr. Jangles went missingonly to find him taking a dip in the pool later on and missing more fur. Noahand Charlie came over with Emma. That right there should sum up the rest of myday for you. I was tired. That’s all there is to it.
All that being said, Jameson knew my body; he knew itwell. So when I wasn’t really into it that night, he knew.
Some people like to tell you they have the greatest sexlife ever. Others tell you they never have sex and that it is horrible whenthey do. I guess it depends on who you talk to. Luck of the draw? Or luck ofthe Irish?
Who knows. But in reality, everyone has differentobstacles in their relationship that sets them apart from their friend’srelationship.
Maybe you fight about money, kids, work, or even the actof having sex.
The thing is it’s not always going to be mind-blowing sex.Even with Jameson and I, two people who were sexually attracted to each otherfrom the beginning and have always had a strong sexual chemistry. There aretimes when it doesn’t work, when we start and don’t finish or times when Idon’t get off and he does. It’s marriage. Leg cramps, sore, tired, kidsscreaming all day, bills to pay, with all those daily obstacles running throughyour head, sometimes it’s not easy to shut out the rest of the world and justbe in the moment with your other half. I get it.
Jameson, he doesn’t always understand that.
He stilled above me, searching my eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“What do you mean?” I replied innocently.
Jameson seemed to sense the lies in my facial featuresand rolled off me.
“Sway, you’re faking it.” He said as though I offendedhim.
“No I’m not.” I also tried to sound offended but I’m notsure that worked. After all, he knew I was faking it and I’m pretty sure heknew I was lying.
“Don’t lie to me.” he got off the bed and pulled hisshorts on. “I can’t believe this.”
“You’re overreacting.”
“I’m overreacting? How many times have you faked it?”
