Page 142 of The Champion
That’s when Tommy fucked us all. Not literally but he didcause a blown tire or two.
We’d lost people before. Actually, we’d lost someoneevery time we went out but I had no idea it’d be Nancy. We were walking downthe street to the last open bar when we lost her.
Alley freaked out and was about ready to call the policewhen Tommy piped up with a confession that shocked us all.
“I kind of told her...it’dbe cool if she got a tattoo.” Was his sheepish reply followed with a few slapsto the back of his head from all five of us staring at him in horror.
We found her about forty-five minutes later with a trampstamp that readHit Thisin bold calligraphy with a red lips at the end.
“I can honestly say I don’t have the tackiest tattoo inthe family now.” Emma said between giggles.
It was horrible and I was sure Jimi wouldn’t be pleaseand Tommy would need to join the witness protection program when Spencer andJameson found out what he convinced their mother to do.
After that, we made it to the last open bar and stayedthere until we got kicked out. Alley got a lap dance from a girl wearing barelyanything and thigh high red hooker boots. Andrea threw up on the bar tenderonly to ask for another drink. Ami found that she was a champ at darts only shewasn’t throwing them at a dark board and had to explain to the owner of the barwhy she broke all their windows.
Alley caught her hair in a fan and chunks had to besacrificed.
Van had to leave to take Andrea to the hospital when shegot in the way of Ami throwing darts. Turns out when they get lodged into yourass it bleeds a lot when pulled out. She looked like she had hemorrhoids andwasn’t pleased.
Tommy, completely intoxicated decided he was in chargenow and that just resulted in an even worse plan when he convinced Nancy tosteal a cop’s horse.
I couldn’t understand where Nancy’s sense of directionwent and why she was following Tommy and his shitty advice tonight.
Nancy made the cop pinky swear not to arrest her when shefailed the breathalyzer but as it turns out; walking around in public wasconsidered frowned upon too. That landed Tommy, Nancy, Emma and me in jail whenwe went to her aide with the cop that couldn’t understand that she was afifty-year old woman who’d drank too much and branded her lower back.
She clearly wasn’t rational and he needed to considerthat before arresting us. But no, that cop was not friendly.
As we sat there in jail, I looked over the string of textmessage from Jameson that I hadn’t noticed while controlling my mother in-law.Each one cracked me up. Most were just messages but there was a few of Spencerand Aiden wearing make-up, no doubt a product of Lexi and Arie. Those two putmake-up on everything, including Casten, which was the next picture. My littlebaby, not so little, was all dolled up in a princess dress, wearing a crown,and plastic earning. He looked pretty good as a girl as did Aiden.
“How do you still have your phone?” Tommy whispered in myear glaring at Alley who’d been giving him the stink eye since we landedourselves in this shit hole in Atlanta.
By the way, if you have never been arrested in downtownAtlanta, keep in that way.
What a nightmare.
“I smuggled it in through my bra.”
“Oh, cool. I usually shove my down my pants.”
“That’s...disgustingTommy.”
He shrugged undeterred by my remark and made friends withthe guy next to us and then took to flirting with the woman next to Emma. I hadto remind him where we were and clearly picking someone up in jail wasn’t thesmartest decision he’d ever made. I could have been wrong though.
“Hey, she’s a step up.” He winked at the girl and if Iwas being honest with you, I wasn’t entirely sure she was a woman but I wasn’ttelling Tommy that. “In college, I once fucked a female body builder. Not cuteand it was like fucking Vin Diesel with a twat. Beastly even.”
I laughed until I nearly pissed myself before he lookedat me with a straight face. “I was so disgusted with myself that I only lastedfifteen seconds and then she proceeded to bench press me. Talk aboutemasculated a man.”
“Oh fire crotch,” I leaned against him using him assupport. “What would I do without you?”
“Probably laugh a lot less.”
“So what...did youdate her after that?”
“Hey, I didn’t say it was a relationship. We fucked andoccasionally I took her to Subway.”
“Some would classify that as a relationship. Not me, butsome.” I smiled when he glared. “But it was nice of you...to take her to Subway an all.”
Another half hour passed after Alley called Van to havehim come get us but apparently he couldn’t so he sent Jameson. I was a littleworried.
