Page 45 of Shade
At least we’re on the same page again.
For a moment, Gage ignores my presence and focuses solely on the ground, like I’m not even there. He knows I’m here though, and he fucking knows why.
When he does look at me, he studies me, dark, troubled eyes lifting to mine. “Wrong part of town for you, don’t you think, Hollywood?”
Jesus Christ. . . .
As a matter of fact, yes, it is. I take a deep breath. By now I’m preparing for the inevitable ass-kicking to follow.
One would think, he’s not looking to kick my ass, man, he’s wondering what a professional freestyle racer wants with him?
One would be smoking fuckin’ crack. Don’t let him fool you. He’s just biding his time and looking for my weakness. Guys like him will look foranypossible way they can to fuck you over.
The problem is, Gage Neeleyknowsmy weakness before I even approach. Anyone who knows me knows my weakness.
Do you?
You should.
Pay close attention to this next part.
“Why’d you keep dealin’ to her when you knew she had a fuckin’ problem?” I’m standing in front of him now, Auden to my left.
I can smell the alcohol and weed on Gage from two feet away. He doesn’t say a goddamn thing and shakes his head, handing a baggie to the man next to him, as if my presence here means nothing to him.
Do you see the hesitation in me? Do you notice the way my eyes dart from his, to his buddies, then to Auden?
Auden mumbles something inaudible, but I’m pretty sure it was, “Let’s go.” Or maybe it was, “Are you fucking crazy?”
There’s a part of me that doesn’t want to do this, be here, because I know the outcome. I know what a guy like him could do to me. It occurs to me, though, in a somewhat fleeting moment of rationality and regret, I should leave.
Do you see the way I shove my hands in my pockets? Can you feel the uneasiness rolling through my shoulders?
We make eye contact. Comprehension flashes in my head, the trouble, the mess I’ve gotten myself into for her again. I feel anxiety in my gut all of a sudden. Do you see the way my heart thuds louder? The way my shoulders tense and square up?
God, this was fucking stupid.
Gage glares at the distance, unfazed, refusing to make eye contact with me. It seems I piss him off, if not for my presence, but the fact that I opened my mouth in the first place. “I don’t know who you’re talking about.” His cocaine-addicted eyes fall to the ground. “I can’t control who wants it and who doesn’t.”
Bullshit. It’s all fucking bullshit. He knowswhoI’m talking about.
I don’t want to do this, but if he wants it, I’ll gladly show him how I play this fucking game.
I look to Auden, and he tosses me a hard look, reminding me that when it comes to being a badass, Gage is on a whole different level.
Do you think I listen?
Ha.
I step forward, and his boys beside him watch me carefully, waiting on his word to step in. “Rhya had a problem and you fucking fueled it.” I try to be calm about this. Give me some credit. I do. Look how patient I’m being. I’m angry, sure, but Gage Neeley isn’t exactly a guy I want to start a war with so I maintain a little more caution than I did with Jaime.
Jaime can suck my dick for all I care, but Gage, he’d cut the fucker off before I even got out the word suck.
“Is that so?” He tips his head, a smile ghosting over his lips. My words are entertaining to him. “They all have problems. Shewanted it. Who was I to deny her?”
I’m well aware of what he’s referring to when he says, she wanted it. Aren’t you?
He’s talking abouthim. I know they had been sleeping together for years. She fucked him, he gave her what she wanted. I’m not stupid, though Rhya seemed to think I was during her staccato rhythm of rehab and relapse.
