Page 184 of Shade
I understand what she’s saying. It’s hard being here, especially when you’re not allowed to date the one you want. But. . . it all goes back to this couch and the memories I have of them.
I wonder if the reason Willa moved out was Ricky. I knew about her being hired to help Ricky when he was granted custody of the boys. And while I didn’t know about it when I was hired, after Shade told me, it made perfect sense why she had me sign the contract. It was more than just sleeping with him.
“How are you and Ricky doing?”
Stepping lightly, she backs up from where Berlin is still sound asleep and returns to the couch. “We’re officially dating.” She pauses and laughs lightly rolling her eyes. “Don’t be like us. We fucked around for years, and then one day I wanted a baby, and he was all for giving me one. It’s all crazy when I think about how it happened, and I never thought I’d be in a relationship with him.”
“Wait. . . so like you didn’t just hook up one night and get pregnant?” I had no idea how Willa and Ricky hooked up; Shade didn’t tell me that part. Probably because he said he didn’t know, and partly because the guy is the best damn secret keeper I know.
“Well, no, not exactly.” She gives me a knowing look, one I should and do know. “I was placed in Ricky’s life much like you were with Shade. He had three little boys to take care of and no real idea how to do that, but I knew I couldn’t let him down. He had a career to think about. He raced Supercross for another couple of years and then decided it wasn’t for him anymore. That’s about the time Shade had started to race with kids twice his age and Ricky just sort of took to becoming their mentor. And I was there in the background making sure it all worked smoothly.”
Though I hear what Willa’s saying, my stupid brain focuses more on the fact that I’m not employed by Shade Sawyer.
I can, for all intents and purposes, have sex with him, the penetration kind. . . should I decide to.
Part of me wants to run out to the race shop and tell him, “hey, boy, we can have sex now” and see what he does.
But I don’t. Nervously going over everything in my head, I attempt to process what Willa told me and what this means for Shade and me.
