Page 160 of Shade
It’s been two days since I’ve slept.
Forty-eight hours.
“It doesn’t change how I feel about you though.”
“And it changes everything about how I feel about you.”
She used me. She fucking used me.
Scarlet. The girl I thought was in it for me used me because she thought, what, that she could get back at me for not remembering?
Do you see that guy? The one with the bloodshot eyes and his heart pounding in his chest. Look closer. He’s losing his fucking mind because why’d he let himself believe a woman could be honest with him?
Did you see it coming?
Why didn’t you warn me?
Why didn’t Willa?
Well, because she had been in on it. Hell, she was the mastermind behind the whole thing.
I’d been at the house for the last two days going back and forth between fits of rage and moments of self-pity. Finally, I realize I need an explanation, and there is only one person I want it from. Willa.
I need answers, and I’m not going to ask Scarlet. While I’m not happy about Scarlet keeping it from me, in many ways, she played a part she was hired to do. My real problem lies with Willa.
After banging on the door for what seems like hours but is probably only a couple of minutes, Willa throws open the door with a look of pure anger on her face and a crying baby against her shoulder.
“What the hell is wrong with you?”
A small surge of guilt rushes through me. Lost in my need to get answers, I forgot that the baby was probably sleeping. My eyes widen. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”
Willa rolls her eyes patting Berlin’s back tenderly. It does nothing to calm the baby. Only makes her cry even louder. “Obviously.”
She turns, leaving the door open which I take as an invitation to come in. Walking into the living room, Willa sits on the edge of the couch, slowly rocking Berlin while humming in her ear trying to calm her cries all the while still giving me the coldest “eat shit and die” stare you can imagine.
“I really am sorry. I should have considered the baby might be sleeping.” But she should have considered my feelings before she hired Scarlet to tease the crap out of me, shouldn’t she?
Agree with me here, even if you don’t.
Willa sighs and I can see the exhaustion on her face. Usually always made up and ready to go, I notice that she has dark circles under her eyes, her hair in a ponytail and it looks like it’s been there for a while.
“What do you want that was so important you had to piss off my daughter?”
And then I rememberwhyI came barreling into her condo in the first place.
“Why did you do it?”
Do you see the way she looks at me with complete confusion? Now watch as the realization hits her. It’s as if her memory finally kicks in and she knowsexactlywhat I’m talking about. That’s when Willa, the professional public relations representative begins to surface. She straightens her stance and squares her shoulders ready for a fight. “I did it because it’s what you needed me to do.” There’s certainty in her voice, leaving no room for doubt. “And take off your damn sunglasses. I can’t see your face.”
But I have doubt. It’s all I have lately. What I needed her to do? What the fuck is she talking about?
“Are you sure you want to see my face at the moment?” I stare at her, shaking my head slowly and lift my sunglasses to hold them in my hand, trying to keep my voice down for the baby nearly asleep. “Has motherhood fried your brain or something? How can you sit there and tell me you paid Scarlet to lie to me because it’s what I needed you to do?”
Willa sweeps Berlin’s hair to the side, her lips touching her daughter’s forehead as she speaks softly. “Shade. . . you needed her in your life. I knew when I met her,I just knew, you needed her. But not as a one-night stand. Not some pro ho who you used for a night and then threw back into the crowd. No, you needed her to be a friend. Someone who could help lead you out of the darkness Rhya’s death threw you into.”
Okay, I do see her point. A little bit.
“But it was all a lie,” I tell her, looking at her as if she’s lost her mind. “She wasn’t my friend. Not like I thought. I liked her Willa.A lot.” I shake my head, feeling completely defeated. “And now I feel like all of it was a big joke and I was the punch line.”
