Page 57 of Trading Paint
“No.” he answered immediately. He sighed and sat down on the curb outside the Denny’s where we stopped at. “I’m not upset.”
“Then what is it because this mopey side is not something I’d expect from someone who just left home to follow his dreams.” I sat down beside him bumping against his shoulders.
“I just,” he drew in a deep breath. His shoulders slumped forward letting his head fall into his hands. “I guess I just feel like my entire family is risking everything for me to do this and what if I can’t? Sure, I guess I can compete with the guys around Washington but out east...it’s entirely different out there. They eat, sleep, and breathe sprint car racing.”
“And you don’t?” He made no attempt to look at me so I continued. Placing my palms over his shoulders, my head dipped to meet his weary gaze toward the parking lot. “Jameson...ever since I met you, racing’s all you’ve done. Spring breaks, you were in Eldora with your dad. Summer vacations, you were racing at different tracks around the West Coast. Friday night football games, you were preparing your car for Saturday’s race or working in your dad’s shop. Senior prom you were in Chico. Graduation you left early to make a race in Cottage Grove.”
He finally tipped his head and looked over at me, his cheek resting against his forearm. “Do you think I can do it?”
“Yes,” I told him confidently. “You’re an amazing racer. Don’t think of yourself as Jimi Riley’s kid because I have no idea who that is. I only know Jameson Riley. You can do this. What I’m trying to say is that you gave up a normal childhood because you believed in something, yourself. You have this dream that means everything to you and I will not sit back and watch it pass you by.”
He grinned. “You gonna force me to race?”
“If I have to,”
“Really?” he challenged with another grin, this time it was full of mischief.
I held up my hand. “Don’t even think about it.”
He had me thrown over his shoulders before I could even finish my sentence and swatted my ass once. “You were saying?”
“Fuck off and put me down.”
“I don’t think so. Let’s go eat.”
The rest of the night Jameson’s mood improved immensely and when we were lying in bed that night, he finally talked a little about Chelsea. He was always so guarded when it came to his feelings about her.
“So she broke up with you?”
He blinked his eyes slowly as though he was gauging my reaction or something. “Yeah, I didn’t give her an option. When I told her she wasn’t coming, it pretty much forced her to.”
“You didn’t want her to come?”
“No, she...I just didn’t.” he voice changed so I decided not to pressure him anymore.
I always knew when his tone changed that he didn’t want to talk about something.
Rolling over on his stomach beside me, he tucked his arms under a pillow. “What about you, are you going tomissCooper?”
“Hardly...after I told him I didn’t want to mess aroundanymore...hestopped talking to me.”
“Figures,” Jameson grumbled rolling his eyes. “Told you he was an asshole,”
“Yeah well, where were you at prom to warn me?”
“Sorry,” he wrinkled his nose. “I’ll screen your future boyfriends.”
“Good, wouldn’t want any more assholes.”
“I don’t think that will be a problem...I probably won’t approve of anyone. You’re special to me Sway and you deserve someone who will put you before anything else.”
“Have you been reading hallmark cards or something?”
He laughed,finallylaughed. “No,” his eyes found mine. “I just want you taken care of. I won’t settle for anyone but the best for you honey.”
I felt this weird sensation when spoke the words “I won’t settle,” as though I was hoping he would say it was him. I didn’t know how I felt about Jameson but I could feelsomethinghappening between us, something intense but I also felt that maybe it was just me. I decided not to look too much into it because really, he didn’t need this. This summer would be hard on him and I wasn’t here to complicate things. I was here to support him and that’s what I would do. I would be the friend he needed.
I could feel the tension building within him, crumbling pressure. Now that he had sponsors, this wasn’t for fun any longer. He needed to perform. But with anything that builds with pressure, the constant loading needs to be released at some point and with Jameson, you didn’t want to be around when that happened. He could put a volcano to shame with the way he could erupt without the slightest trace of warning. I was just waiting for the explosion.
