Page 195 of Trading Paint
There nothing I liked better than racing with Jameson but I feared it as well. What if something went wrong and more importantly, what if that something was triggered by me? As you can see, my brooding offspring wasjustlike me.
Jameson finally made his way over to us, scooped his mother into a tight hug and then eyed me skeptically. “I thought you’d be in Concord already.”
“I’m heading there now. I just stopped by to see how happy hour was going.”
“Shitty, I don’t know what wrong with it but I just felt like it was lagging there at the end of the run. It’s tight on exit coming out of four.”
“It wasn’t.” I told him as we all walked toward his motor coach. We had to stop several times for him to sign autographs but eventually we made it. “Your lap times were enough to break the record you already set.”
He seemed to consider this for a moment before smiling at his mom. “Are you staying for the race?”
“Yes honey.” He tucked her under his arm. Though he’d never admit this to anyone, he was a mamas-boy. “I’m heading to Concord with your dad but I’ll be back in the morning with your grandparents too.”
“Oh yeah?Grandpa and Nana are coming?” Jameson asked shrugging out of his racing suit once inside the motor coach.
We made small talk for a few minutes before heading to Concord for dinner and the race. I knew I didn’t have a lot of time but I needed to talk to him before the race tomorrow. If there was ever a chance that I needed him to calm down and think, it was this next race. We couldn’t afford another hit in the points like we took at Richmond and Jameson didn’t need the added stress.
“Is Sway coming tomorrow?” Nancy asked Jameson when we were eating.
Jameson, trying to hide his smile by looking down, pushed the tomatoes out of his salad along with the cucumbers. Arranging them on a plate he glanced down at them several times as if he thought someone should take them, but his other half wasn’t here.
I saw the way my son looked at Sway and I saw the look of pure heartache and remorse when she’s not with him. I knew it because I’d been there with his mother. As a racer, you don’t want to fall in love in the peak of your career. It’s less than ideal when you’re trying to balance everything and without trying to, you can break their heart or they can easily break yours. It’s easy to do. They see fame and forgot all about the person underneath.
Even though we live for speed, we have big hearts and when you make it, people seem to forget that. I also knew Sway would never hurt him that way. I hoped at least because with Jameson, it would destroy him. Out of anything in this world, racing aside, Sway had that power over my son.
“I didn’t invite her to come out.” Jameson finally said. “She’s busy.”
“She graduated last week.” I said. “How can she be busy still?”
“With the track—she’s taking over as General Manager.”
Now I understood the change in his personality within the last few weeks. I heard about him flying back to Elma to see Charlie and I had a feeling it had something to do with it. He wouldn’t admit this but Jameson was looking forward toSwaygraduating. We all were. Jameson was an asshole most of the time with his irascibleness but at least when Sway was around he was somewhat tolerable.
“I’m sure one race won’t hurt anything.” Nancy said to him reaching for his cucumbers. “I can call Charlie and see if it’s all right.”
Jameson didn’t seem comfortable with the subject but I needed to say a few things to him. “Jameson, I know that you don’t understand these feelings you’re having for her, but eventually they will make sense.” Smiling at my wife, I took her hand. “You can have both. It doesn’t have to be one or the other.”
Surprisingly, he contemplated this for a moment before his guard came up. “It’s not like that with Sway and me.” He guarded himself so tightly when the focus switched to her. Even the Russian Army couldn’t break through to him.
Nancy and I both laughed, they’d both been denying the love they had for the last few years. There was nothing either of us could say to him to convince him. It goes back to that evidence.
Jameson stood and held up his phone.
“I need to go make a phone call.” And just like that, he disappeared around the corner.
Nancy sighed beside me. “Do you think they’ll ever wake up?”
“Maybe,” I told her with a smile. “Probably not but let’s hope so.”
It took me sixlongmonths of arguing with myself before I realized I could have both, love and racing. The problemwasn’t knowingyou were in love. With Nancy, I knew right away that small town green-eyed angle stole my heart the first night I met her. It was balancing the two loves and being able to provide both the attention they deserved from you. Racing could consume your entire life, if you let it. Since Jameson was four—he’d let it. But gradually, his interests shifted toward women. I should say one woman, Sway.
Nancy and I feared constantly that his lack of anormalchildhood had something to do with his indecisiveness with women. Most saw him now as the NASCAR rookie sensation who took his precarious talents to the highest level but none of them new the boy behind the wheel. There was a boy there—one that had fears but hunger that outshined it. He was still just a boy to me though, one that couldn’t see exactly what he needed, the girl.
Ball Joint - Jameson
“What position are we in?”
“You go out twenty-third.” Aiden replied swiping sweat from his brow before adjusting his black Simplex hat. Damp blonde curls peeked out from the sides.
