Page 18 of Trading Paint
“So get one.” I replied looking over my paper making sure I did it correctly.
“Hey dumbass, that’s why I asked you for one.” She shot back kicking me.
Naturally, I kicked her back.
“No...yousaid youneeda pencil. Nowhere in that sentence did you say “Can I borrow a pencil,” now did you?”
“You’re an asshole.” She whispered and walked away from me to retrieve a pencil from the teacher.
Chelsea caught me again after third period. “Did you stand me up for Sway?” her tone demanding and accusing. The way it always was.
Focused on my homework that I had failed to do the night before, I never looked up and I contemplated not answering her as well. I didn’t feel the need to explain myself. I already had to tell my mom why and that was enough for me. In the end, mom forced Sway and I to dress up so she could take pictures, either that or she threatened to sell my car.
I was in my tuxedo and forcing Sway to put that damn tutu back on within seconds. I’d grown accustomed to the tutu and found it incredibly adorable on her.
“Sway is none of your business.” I answered, my jaw clenching tightly.
“I want to know where I stand with you. You’re always leaving for her. I know you want her so why do you even mess around with me?”
“Why doyoueven bother with me? I know you see other guys.”
Chelsea was silent for a moment, her finger drumming against her book. “Despite whatyouthink, I do like you Jameson but you’re taken.”
I didn’t get a chance to respond as Mr. Simmons walked in to begin class.
The entire hour-long class I contemplated what she said.
Was I taken?
I knew damn well what she referring to. Maybe I was taken but that still didn’t change the fact that Sway was my best friend. She was not my girlfriend and I had no claim on her. Girlfriends complicate everything. You go from being friends and then once you slap the official title on it, things change. Emotions get involved, insecurities rule and feelings get hurt. I didn’t want that with Sway.
I wanted the bond. I wanted the strong emotional connection we had and I didn’t want it to end.
What if I hurt her? What if she didn’t feel the same way and hurt me? Most of all, what if we did get together, I’m sure we’d have sex and then what? Would I feel the same way or was all this emotion for her because I couldn’t have her in the ways I wanted?Infatuation maybe?
Once school ended, Sway caught a ride with Tommy and I, as usual, headed to the track to blow off some steam as usual.
Looking back on this time of my life, I hated being a teenager because in the face of everything you’re dealing with, you have emotions. The shitty thing about those emotions was not being able to decipher what in the hell they meant or why you felt that way in the first place.
4.Gauge – Jameson
Gauge – An instrument, usually mounted on the dashboard, used to monitor engine conditions such as fuel pressure, oil pressure and temperature, water pressure and temperature, and RPMs (revolutions per minute).
“Where are you going kid?”
“The track.I’m meeting Sway there. She’s coming with us to Cottage Grove.” I told my dad on the way out the door.
For my birthday last year, my parents bought me a car. I had to pay for half of it and whatever amount I was able to come up with; they matched. All that hard-earned money bought me a 1967 Ford Shelby Mustang GT 500.
Yeah, I was spoiled but I loved that car. A few weeks after I got the car, my dad went for a ride with me and squeezed himself into the non-existed back seat. He refused to sit in the front seat like a normal person would. Instead, he insisted I drive him around town like I was driving Miss Daisy.
Eventually, I traded the car for a truck, a 1996 Ford F-250 so I could haul my sprint car around. It seemed like a better option and I needed to be realistic. I also got four speeding tickets in two weeks so that may have been the deciding factor as well but I refuse to admit that’s why.
Over the last summer, it was rare for Sway and I to ever be apart.
Chelsea and I dated on and off but I couldn’t stand her longer than a few weeks before I was telling her to get lost. Then Sway would get to me again and I found myself looking to Chelsea as a distraction or whoever was available.
Sway never did anything to piss me off, quite the opposite. Everything she did turned me on.
