Page 179 of Trading Paint
Was it sowrongto want some time to myself? And was it wrong the time I wanted, I wanted it to be with Sway?
I felt like I was about to combust if I didn’t get a chance to process everything that had been happening lately.
What happens when you put high-energy fuel (this being me) into a small enclosed space and ignite it? An incredible amount of energy is released is what happens. That energy can be used as the core to your engine. And it seemed, just like my life these days, combined energy with air and the explosion took on another meaning.
I must have sat on the edge of my bed for an hour staring at my phone, pleading with it to make the decision for me.
Racing or Sway?
Another hour passed and I thought of Charlie. What if this was him—would I be there for a memorial race?
In a heartbeat.
I made the decision and I went racing.
I talked to Sway later that night and though she hid it well, I sensed the sadness when I told her I wanted to come see her,butcouldn’t.
“Don’t feel bad Jameson.” She told me after I apologized again. “I would be upset with you if you came here instead of going to that race.”
“You would?”
“Yes, I would. Ron helped you get to where you are now. Pay respect where respect is due.”
She had a point, she always did. “How would I ever survive without you?”
“Oh you wouldn’t.” she teased. “I’m pretty sure you would combust without me.”
“You’re probably right.” I chuckled at the irony that I was just comparing myself to the engines combustion and here she was, thinking I would combust without her. In reality, I would have already if it wasn’t for her.
I called Emma back after that. Knowing me well she and Alley already had the plane lined up, which meant I left tomorrow afternoon for Pennsylvania.
“Ron Walker paved the way for many fresh faces we see today in some of the premier divisions. He had the ability to see talent where most would turn their heads but Ron gave them a chance at greatness.” MarkDerkin’s, track owner of Williams Grove, voice carried throughout the stands and infield prior to the memorial feature.
Standing there beside my fellow racers, fixed gazes on the flag stand where Mark stood, remembering an adherent man who changed the lives of many of us. An eerie silence fell over the mass of fans and drivers, until Justin sneezed beside me.
A few of us chuckled when he apologized.
I’d never faced death before. My uncle Lane died when I was young but I had vague memories of him. Since then, I had yet to see if first hand. Even now, with Ron, this wasn’t first had and though I knew him, I didn’t know him on a personal level. I knew he had a daughter, Jessica who raced sprint cars, but other than that, nothing. I couldn’t have even told you how old he was.
Jessica was standing a few feet from me, watchful of everyone, taking it in.Blinking slowly, her shoulder length black hair swept across her face shielding her tears.This had to be hard for her, losing her dad. Instantly I thought of Sway, flashes of her doing the same when Charlie died, only alone.
Racing never stopped, ever. But when someone within the racing community died, that’s when our sport shined. Jessica wasn’t alone today. At Williams Grove, on your average weekly race, you’ll see about forty cars competing for a spot in the main.
Thatnight there wereone hundred and sixty cars that showed up to pay respect for Ron Walker.
Sway wouldn’t have the sentry of the racing community. I knew that when Charlie did die, hundreds of racers would flock to Grays Harbor to show their respect just as we were doing tonight, but who would be there for Sway. Who wouldreallybe there for her? Could it be me?
Not likely with a ten month schedule followed by two months of testing in the off-season, racing never stopped. It’s a twenty-four hour a day job, 365-days out of the year.
Before the feature, Jessica made a slow pace lap in honor of him then the twenty-seven car field merged in before creating a 4-wide salute. Usually a feature only had twenty-three sprint cars but twenty-seven was the number of years Ron had been involved in race promoting, so we ran twenty-seven cars.
You’d think being a memorial race, no points, no money, just laid back racing, we would have simply raced and took it easy.
No, hell no.We are all stubbornly aggressive but guess who won?
Jessica Walker.
A number of us could have taken that win at the end but we all knew what that win would mean to a girl like Jessicahavingjust lost her father. It would have meant everything and it did.
