Page 65 of Unbound
As Lenny’s putting on her gear, Raven and I get into position like we’re about to win this game. Never mind the fact that Lenny and Raven are both wearing extremely short dresses, as am I, and here we are cock tossing.
Never in my life have I laughed so hard as I did during that game. Lenny kept laughing, which made it more entertaining. Have you ever tried to get a ring around a bouncing dick? It’s nearly impossible.
“Hold your dick still, L,” Raven stutters out in a fit of giggles as she kneels down trying to get a better angle. I can’t imagine what this must look like from an outsider’s point of view. “Sophie, hold it still for me!”
So there I am on my knees manhandling big purple when the doorbell rings and stripper boy is met with a sight I bet he’s never seen. Three girls, one wearing a strap on, one on the floor trying to strategically place a cock ring on it and another holding said cock at the right angle to help a girl out.
“He’s definitely not eighteen,” I say, loud enough for him to hear. There’s just no way. He’s got this baby face, shaggy brown hair sticking out of a beanie cap and frankly, he reminds me of a skater version Justin Bieber. He’s wearing dark jeans, a dark T-shirt, and Converse. “Did you find him at the skate park? Does his mom know he’s out past his bedtime?”
Raven giggles, covering her mouth as if this is the funniest thing she’s ever seen. “No idea.”
Lenny gapes at Raven, bottle of tequila in one hand and then takes big purple in her left hand and slaps Raven on the forehead. “I told you no strippers!”
“Ow!” Rubbing her forehead, Raven stands. “That hurt.”
“Let’s face it, Raven.” I can’t stop laughing and I’m not sure my words even make sense. “That’s not the first time you’ve been slapped in the face with a dick.”
The kid at the door smiles at Lenny, who’s still wearing big purple with a tiara on her head. “You must be the bride-to-be.”
Lenny takes a step back and fidgets with her strap on. “Um, yeah.”
“Well”—the kid steps forward, his arm around Lenny—“how about I show you how a real one works.” And then he winks at big purple. Or maybe he winks at Lenny. I’m a little unsure because honestly, I’ve drank a lot and for someone who hasn’t drank much in the last two years, a couple shots would have been enough. Not ten.
Kitty begins putting away the cock rings and big purple’s friends while her eyes never leave the kid. “Mind if I stay for this show?”
“There will be no show.” Lenny shrugs off the kid’s arm. “He’s like fifteen. No way he’s stripping.”
He looks offended. “I’m eighteen.”
“You are not,” all three of us say together.
Pulling off his beanie cap, he stares at us, like he can’t believe we’d question his age. “Yes, I am.”
Raven stands up from the floor, tugging on the hem of her black dress that’s clearly not getting any longer. She holds out her hand. “Fine, prove it. Show me your driver’s license.”
With a smug grin that’s actually kinda cute, he reaches into his back pocket for his wallet and then hands his driver’s license to Raven.
I examine it with her. He is in fact eighteen.
“Oh look, you have the same birthday as Chevy.”
Lenny groans. “Okay, now he definitely has to go. You have the same birthday as my son, and I can’t look at you naked.”
The offended look returns. “I’m definitely not your son, honey.”
“First off, don’t say honey.” Lenny hands big purple back to Kitty and then faces the kid, her finger on his chest as she backs him up to the door. “You’re not old enough to use that word. And second, I don’t want to see you naked. I didn’t want a stripper.” She glares at Raven. “My soon-to-be sister-in-law hired you and if my soon-to-be husband finds you here, you won’t live to see nineteen.”
His eyes widen. It’s a small town and I’m 99 percent sure the kid knows who her fiancé is. “You’re not gonna tell Red I was here, are you?”
“I will unless you leave right now,” she warns.
He leaves. Immediately.
“I can’t believe you did that.” Lenny shoves Raven. “Now let’s go to the bar. I want to party without a dick attached to me. I have no idea how men can stand that thing between their legs.”
Raven and I both look at big purple as he’s placed in his case.
Being three sheets to the wind, Raven clears her throat, still tugging on her dress, and I know she’s about to say something stupid. “I’m sorry, but no one has a dick as big as BP. He’s frankly in a class of his own and if a man did have one that big, I don’t think he could walk normally.”
