Page 61 of Unbound
It’s taken me a long time, but I don’t want to be this way, that hostile side where I dismissed everything and anyone around me and believed my reality was right.
My guilt, my blame, it’s not right, and it shrouds my every step now.
I didn’t see her at all on Wednesday. By the time I got back to the house, she was asleep.
Thursday was the bridal shower and the rehearsal dinner later that night, and it never quite seemed like the right time to talk to her.
But still, I wanted to explain, tell her I’d make everything right. I wanted to beg her for a chance to be a part of their lives.
Sophie, in many ways, used to be a misery I tortured myself with and did for years. Only now it’s different. I fear by being here I’m hurting her, and I don’t want to anymore.
You can only hurt someone so many times before they’ve had enough.
I want so badly to make her happy and be enough for the two of them.
I also have no idea where my music career is heading with everything going on with Sam. I still haven’t heard back from Dylan and it’s been two days. I can’t help but wonder if I even have a band to go back to.
The couch dips down next to me. “You look slutty,” I tell my sister.
Raven rolls her eyes, smoothing out her too short dress that cups her too much cleavage I don’t want to see. “I lookhot.”
I turn my head and stare at the window. It’s better than looking at my half-dressed sister. “Nope. Slutty.”
“What’s with you?”
“I think you know.” Taking the pillow beside me, I cover her chest with it only to have her hit me in the face with it.
“I do know, not because Sophie told me, but because we shared the same hot tub for nine months. Spill it.”
Drawing in a deep breath, I lay my head against the back of the couch and stare up at the ceiling. Raven knows what’s up. I know she does, but it’s still hard to tell her. “You know what Nick did, right?” She nods. “Well, I had nothing to do with it and Sophie doesn’t believe me.”
“After everything you’ve done to her, did you honestly think she was going to believe you right away?”
“No.” Groaning, I lean forward, resting my elbows on my knees. Feeling something tugging at my jeans, I look down to see Lyric at my feet, drool on his chin and his navy blue onesie he’s wearing. I smile. “Hey, buddy.”
Using my legs, he stands himself up and grins at Raven and me.
“He’s the happiest baby,” Raven says, resting her head on my shoulder. “And he knows what an amazing father he has.”
I rest my head on hers. “And an amazing aunt.”
Lyric jumps around on my legs, bouncing himself and trying to grab my hair.
“He’s a hair puller, isn’t he?”
Raven rolls her eyes. “If you say, like his dad, I’ll punch you in the throat.”
“Wouldn’t be the first time.”
“Remember graduation day and you told me to fuck off that morning and then I punched you in the throat and you puked.”
Speaking of puke, I hear the splat of puke hitting my shoe. I look down to see Chevy at my feet and the white blob on my shoe. “Jesus, what’s wrong with this kid? He pukes all the time.”
“Lenny thinks he has acid reflux. He like projectile pukes all over the place sometimes. Like hits the wall five feet away.”
My stomach rolls and I slap my hand over her mouth. “Stop talking.”
Chevy sits back on his butt when I set Lyric down and they stare at one another in some kind of baby stare down.
