Page 55 of Unbound
Her chest expands with a breath and it’s like she’s sucked the air from the room on me. Her voice is quieter this time. “And I’m supposed to believe you?”
Am I a fucking hypocrite for wanting her to?
She glares at me, my heart splitting in my chest, mismatched beats and the itch to destroy this entire building until she sees I didn’t do this. I’m trapped under her fixed stare.
My throat is painfully tight, raw as I try to swallow what’s before me and the worthless way I complicate things for her. “I didn’t. Iwouldn’t,” I say, dropping my eyes to the table.
“You’re lying,” she interjects, pushing through the fog of my thoughts. “That’s all you do.”
“Funny you should say that.” She’s hurt and angry, but so am I.
“Go to hell.”
My heart hammers and my confidence breaks. “Pretty sure I’m already there.”
“Just be honest, you never wanted to be a part of our lives, did you?”
“You know, how could you fucking think that after this morning?” I remind her bitterly.
She shifts closer. Her lids lower, my heart pounding so loud, so fast. “You wanted me to hate you, that’s what you wanted, wasn’t it?”
I’m aware of everything around us, the people, the watchful stares burning into our backs. I stand up, reaching for her hand. “Let’s take this outside.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to take me outside, fuck me one last time before you run again?” The distress in her face, the hurt, anger, everything I’ve ever caused her crashes down on me. “Because we both know that’s what you’re going to do now. I signed the papers. Do what you want with it. You’re free.”
My gaze shows my weakness, a wave of watery pain surfacing for her. I don’t say anything.
I can’t.
My hands curl into fists and I nod. I want to fucking kill Sam and Nick. Disappointment settles over me and I sigh loudly. “I don’t know what you want me to say. I didn’t tell them to do this. I wouldn’t.”
“You haven’t changed one bit, have you?” She’s shouting, her tone harsh and angry, wounds I’ve created ripping wide open with raw agony. The planes of her face, her expression, she hates me now, again, maybe always. It’s a side I never truly saw until this moment. She’s burning inside and out and ready to ignite everything.
I swallow down the tears I won’t let run. “Why won’t you believe me?”
“How does this guy even know about Lyric?”
“I told him. He’s my manager. I was talking to him Saturday about the band… I don’t….” My hands find my hair in frustration. “He must have thought I wanted that, but I don’t. I didn’t tell him that.”
“That’s bullshit. You’re lying to me.”
“I’m not! I love you. I… I want to be a part of his life, and yours,” I say, looking at the agony in her eyes. I didn’t want to tell her this way, but I can’t stop the words from escaping my trembling lips.
Her lashes flicker in shock. “If you love me, you wouldn’t have done this!” She shoves the papers to my chest. “This isn’t love, Rawley. This is once again you throwing Mexico in my face.
My face hardens. “I’m fucking standing here, Sophie. Do you really think I would have signed away my parental rights and still be here? I would have left town immediately and wouldn’t have taken you to a fucking candlelit dinner!”
She walks away and this time, I know I’ve lost her. For how long, I don’t know because forever is unthinkable. My hands shake as I bring them to cover my face. I swallow, my jaw sore, violence heavy in my head, every action irreversible, unforgivable and miserable.
Sadness lingers inside my chest. How could she think I would do this?
The moment the door shuts, my own anger surges, the need to inflict pain somewhere other than where it resides, inside of me and I take the table we were just sitting at and flip it over sending wine glasses, plates and silverware flying toward the wall.
There’s a couple dining across from where we were sitting who jump in their seats. I don’t say anything to them. I can’t. I’m ready to drive to Seattle and kill Sam and Nick for doing this. Shaking with the adrenaline pumping through my veins, I kick the chairs over and when I turn around, my brother is standing there.
“What the hell?” His massive arms are outstretched in a “what the fuck?” manner as he stalks toward me. “What are you doing to Tony’s restaurant? Calm down.”
“Of course you’re here! You’re always here! This is none of your business.”
