Page 43 of Unbound
He shakes his head, his brow furrowed in confusion but focused on avocados rather than me. “You know what I’ve been doing.”
I shrug. “I know.”
He sighs. “Then why’d you ask?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know what to say to you. Nervous I guess.”
“Are you asking because you want to know if I’m with someone?” The corners of his mouth twitch into a smile as he walks, his hands in his pockets. This guy, the one walking beside me, bumping into me every ten feet, I knowthisguy. I do because he’s the one I fell for. It’s the first glimpse I’ve gotten at him in a really long time. I have to say, it’s nice to see him.
“I guess maybe in a round-about way I am.”
He nods once and I stop breathing. I don’t even know why I care, because after the wedding, it’s not like he’s staying and none of this matters, but then again,itmatters.
“No. I’m not with anyone,” he finally says, eyes drifting to mine to gauge my reaction, his honesty results in a pause in our walking.
I reach for two more avocados and then a few oranges. “Why did you come home?”
The lift of his eyebrows indicates his surprise for my question. His hands find residence in the pockets of his jeans again. “You know why I’m here. Red’s wedding.”
“Yeah, but the Rawley I knew for the last three years wouldn’t have come home for Red’s wedding. You two don’t get along. Did something happen in Seattle?”
Removing his hands from his pockets, he runs his palm along the stubble on his jaw focusing on anything but me. “We don’t have to do this right now.”
“Do what?”
An awkward and sudden silence lingers between us and it’s like we’re the only two people in the store. “Act like you want to get to know me again, or care.” He wants to be bitter, say more, but he’s stopping himself.
“I’m done. I have everything I need,” I tell him, pushing the cart forward only to have him stop me, his hand on my hand.
“C’mon. I’m really trying not to be a dick right now. I just don’t see why it matters. I’m here.”
I keep my voice down because we’re in the checkout line and I don’t want everyone hearing me. “It matters because you’re back and I don’t know how to take all this. I don’t know where we stand, if we do, or what’s going to happen next week when the wedding’s over. All I know is I have a son and despite you treating me like shit, I still care and I hate myself for caring. I’m sick to my stomach thinking about everything.”
He doesn’t say anything to that and pulls out his wallet, like he needs something to distract himself, but there’s a certain amount of sadness present in his eyes and the way his shoulders slump forward at my words. He holds up his credit card. “I’ll take care of this.”
I roll my eyes. “I’m capable of buying my son diapers and food, Rawley.”
He pushes past me, his body brushing up against mine. “Yeah, so am I.”
We don’t talk the entire drive home and when we arrive back at the house, he helps me inside with the two bags. “Do you want me to get him out of the car?”
I shake my head. “No. I’m leaving. I’m supposed to meet Lenny and Raven at the dress shop.”
He nods, standing in the garage but he doesn’t look at me. “Do you want to talk tonight?”
“No. I don’t. Not unless you’re actually going to talk to me.”
“I did talk to you. We were talking,” he points out.
“Yeah, you were but every time I mention something you don’t want to talk about, you shut down.”
He snorts and shakes his head, turning around to give me a sight I’m used to. Him leaving.
LYRIC SLEEPS IN the car as I drive through town to the dress shop. Lenny and Raven are both there when I arrive.
Removing Lyric’s car seat from the car, I carry him inside as he sleeps, relieved the rain’s finally let up a little. Lenny’s feeding Chevy on the couch near the dressing rooms and Raven’s sitting beside her as they wait for me.
“Sorry I’m late,” I tell them when I’m inside, sitting Lyric’s car seat on the floor. He continues to sleep, his little chubby cheeks slightly pink. Gently I cover him up with his blanket and rock the seat slightly.
