Page 40 of Unbearable
“Holy shit, really? You told him you loved him? Do you?”
“Yes, really. I did. And I think I do, but I was drunk and he drove to my school and picked my drunk ass up and took me back to my dorm. And I puked on him.”
It takes Lenny a moment to process what I’m telling her and then she shakes her head. “I don’t think that has anything to do with what’s going on with him. He’s been acting really weird at work lately. It’s something else.”
I hope it is but sadly, I don’t think she’s right. I mean, he’s clearly afraid of commitment and I basically told him that’s what I wanted. I don’t blame him for freaking out.
WITHIN AN HOURafter Tyler arrives, we’re all seated at the dinner table, an awkwardness settling over us when Red gives an expansive sigh, his gaze on his child not eating and building a mashed potato volcano. “Nova, stop playing with your food and eat it.”
“I don’t like food. And I ate dinner last night. Why do I have to eat today?”
Lenny leans over and brushes Nova’s curls out of her face. “Because Grandma spent a lot of time on the meal. You want to make her happy, right?”
Nova’s eyes dart to Mom who gives her a silly look, one eyebrow quirked and then she sticks her bottom lip out. “Won’t you eat, honey?”
“Fine.” Nova gives Red a scowl. “But only because Grammy asked.”
I don’t know why but Nova’s been giving Red a hard time lately, mostly in the last month since school started but she’s also one of those kids who hates change and disruption in her routine. Kindergarten fucked that all up.
Clearing my throat, I reach for my glass of spiked egg nog and end up dumping it on my plate. Classic move on my part.
Glancing up, I wonder if anyone notices.
Tyler cuts his eyes to mine and smiles, then glances at Red.
I don’t get up. I leave the egg nog on my plate and act like it didn’t happen because the last thing I want is the attention moving to me.
Jude, my cousin, let’s out a laugh at something Rawley says and quickly everyone is paying attention to the two hoodlums at the end of the table making jokes.
Watchful of Tyler’s every action across the table from me, I thought, hoped, my feelings would have changed in the last three weeks. But they haven’t, and in that moment I realize they probably never will. Drunk or not, they remain.
He’s watching me but I can’t look at him directly. I won’t. If I do, I’ll smile and everyone will see right through me. Sure, they know, but it’s not that I want everyone here to see what Tyler does to me.
It’s then, when no one is looking, he attempts to make me squirm. Something Tyler can do with a wink.
Which he does by slowly sinking his teeth into his bottom lip, but then he takes it a step further, slouching to one side and picking up his knife to cut his turkey. Only he lets it slide slowly out of his hand much like he did with the wrench in his kitchen. I’m immediately reminded of being laid out on his kitchen table while he uses a wrench to get me off.
That son of a bitch and his talented hands!
My cheeks flush to the point where the heat is making me sweat and there’s a sudden urge to squeeze my thighs together.
“Raven, are you feeling okay?” Mom asks, and then laughs when she notices Tyler sit up straighter in his chair and clear his throat.
“I’m fine.” I shoot Tyler a glare only to have him watch with me that same intensity he did when I fell apart in his hands. “I think the whiskey’s getting to me.”
AFTER DINNER, I help Mom and Lenny clean up along with my aunts but I spill cranberry sauce all over myself with my shaky hands.
“Fuck,” I curse, staring at Mom and then my white sweater. Not sure why I chose to wear a white sweater today but it’s obviously a stupid idea. “Do you have stain remover?”
“Yeah,” she shakes her head at me smiling at Lenny. They both know why I’m so jittery. But my mom also knows if there’s a stain on my shirt, I have to change it. “It’s in the laundry room above the washing machine in the cabinet.”
With the heaviest of sighs, I walk down the hall passing by the family room where the guys are gathered watching the football game.
Searching through the cupboard, I find the stain remover and spray it directly on my sweater, never bothering to take it off.
His presence is known before my breath can catch up with the rapid beating of my heart. It makes me gasp, the way his body makes mine react instantaneously. “Did you miss me?”
His voice sends a jump through me, physically and mentally. He’s right behind me as I close my eyes and inhale, not wanting him to see the reaction he has on my heart.
