Page 33 of Unbearable
“Why?”
“Because you’re drunk and if I do this now with you, I’m not any different than these fucking frat boys. I came here to help you get to bed, not fuck you.” His lips brush the top of my head. “Please just sleep.”
I’m so grateful he’s here with me that I say what I’m thinking. “I love you, Tyler.”
It slips out and I know what I’ve done, but I play it off like a drunk girl would because I am and I can get away with it.
He chuckles but says nothing.
Closing my eyes, I let my hand wander lower, attempting to seduce him. “Make love to me. I want to know what it’s like to have a man love me.”
He catches my hand when it reaches the waistband of his jeans and puts it back on his chest. “Why do you want me to make love to you? It’s not like we haven’t had sex before, Raven.”
“No, notsex. Makeloveto me.”
I think I know what he’s going to say next. Something along the lines of he can’t love me, he’s too broken, blahfuckingblah. I don’t want to hear that. I want love, damn it.
His lips brush my temple. “What was that the morning you left?”
“I’m not sure what that was. I think it was the day you broke my heart.”
He draws back and the look on his face makes me want to sigh. “It wasn’t my intention.”
“I know.”
Despite the regret I think he feels for saying no, he offers a smile. “Go to sleep.”
I can’t sleep. Not with him here and a little bit of courage. I want to know why I’m not good enough for him to love. Berkley was. Why can’t I be? “Why can’t you love me back? I’m not good enough, that’s it, isn’t it? What’s wrong with me? Was Berkley better than me?”
He ducks his chin to look down at me, his brow raising. “There’s nothing wrong with you. You don’t know what you’re talking about, Raven. You’re drunk.”
I’m refusing to let this go and sit up and twist to face him. “Yes I do. You don’t love me. Holden didn’t love me enough. What the hell is wrong with me?”
“It’s not you. You’re perfect.” He sits up too. “There’s absolutelynothingwrong with you and I told you, if I was going to fall in love with anyone, it would be you.”
I take a moment to think about what he says, or I try at least but I turn and realize I’m wearing a tank top and one of my boobs falls out.
“Oh, look. One of the Double Mint twins is looking for a solo career.”
He glances down and his eyes crinkle at the corners but I can tell he’s desperately trying to not look. “Raven, fix your shirt.” Slowly, his hand eases along the dip in my side, squeezing my hip. “Please.”
I fix my boobs but then I sigh into his chest when his hands don’t leave my side. “You’re touching me and it’s making me want you, so stop touching me unless you’re going to make love to me.”
His hand relaxes, as does my breathing when he presses his lips to my forehead and then sits up. “Sleep.”
“I can’t.” A sigh escapes me. “Hold me until I fall asleep.”
Tyler doesn’t say anything but he lies back on my bed and lets me rest my head on his chest.
I lift mine again. “Are you sure? I mean, I can’t believe you don’t want any sex.”
His lips curl up into a barely-there smile, though his expression doesn’t change. “It’s not without effort.” Staring at the ceiling, he asks, “Why did you go to a frat party anyway?”
“I’m trying to fit in.”
He nods. “And that worked out, didn’t it?”
I think I should be offended by it, but I’m not. “I don’t fit in anywhere.”
“That’s not true. You fit in with me.”
“But youwon’tlove me,ormake love to me right now.”
“Okay, stop it.” Tyler lets out a heavy sigh and turns to face me. “You’re drunk and feeling bad about yourself but you’re better than this. Knock it off.” He’s right. I’m being insecure and it’s probably pretty annoying. “It’s like two in the morning. Go to sleep.”
I didn’t think I could, but the moment I close my eyes and listen to his soft breathing, it’s a lot easier than I thought it would be.
