“Hold up.” Calvin’s calling to me.
I don’t know if I want to hold up. He keeps doing these things that put himself and others in danger.
His elbow rubs up against mine. “Haley.”
“You went back into the quicksand to get your shoe? It’s a shoe!” I’m furious at him. Easton gave me the quick version of what happened while he was scrubbing himself in the surf.
“It was mud.” He runs his fingers along his ear, and clumps drop off.
“Mud, sand. Doesn’t matter what it is if you get sucked under.” I gaze out at the water. Easton’s paddling out past the breakers, and I just want to get back to him.
“It wasn’t going to suck me under.”
“Easton said you were sunk in up to your knees.” I peel off my shirt; my bikini’s on beneath it. I’m going to go in and be with Easton. He’s upset. He says he’s not, but it’s rolling off him.
“I was. But I wasn’t stuck. I was contemplating what to do, and he overreacted.”
I cock my head to the side. That’s the thing with Calvin: any sign of emotion is overreacting. “Was he? Or was he just being kind and worried that you might fucking kill yourself over a shoe or a machete?”
I push on his arm, but he doesn’t move. He just stares at the spot where I touched him. “I don’t want to lose you. Okay? We can figure out how to make shoes. Heck, I’m sure there are plans for a forge and a smelting operation up in there.” I mean to touch the side of his head gently, but I end up giving it a good smack. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to.” I shake my head as my hair flies in the wind. “It’s just that you... you make me so gosh darn frustrated. I keep telling you that you don’t have to take care of everyone, that we can take care of you, too. But you don’t believe me, do you?”
“I do,” he says, his low voice floating off into the wind.
“Do you REALLY, Calvin?” I say. “Because I need you to know, understand, how much you mean to me, and if something happens to you, it would just completely gut me.”
He tilts his chin up to the sky. When he looks back at me in the twilight, his blue eyes shimmer. There’s almost a tear. It’s like he can’t possibly believe that anyone could truly care for him.
“I told you I love you, and I mean it. Please don’t do things like that anymore. Just because you don’t believe that we’re gonna get out of here doesn’t make it true. We could still find a way home, even without the Rock Candy.”
He is quiet, his jaw firmly tilted to the sky. He shakes his head. “I love you, Haley... But forget it. We can enjoy what we have now. That’s what this whole Festival Island Day is about, right? Enjoying what we have, thanking nature and this hunk of rock for letting us live?”
I blink at him. “I suppose you’re right. That is what we’re supposed to be celebrating tomorrow. But it’s more than that. I just... I know you can’t make someone have hope, Calvin. I know you aren’t gonna change just because I snap my fingers. I don’t want that. I don’t want you to change. I love you for who you are. You’re empathetic. You’re kind. You’re smart. You’re intuitive and a wizard with motors. But you’re careless. You’re careless with your own self, and that hurts those of us who care about you. You mean something to us. What would you have done if I had gone back into the mud for a shoe?”
His neck bends, his head facing the sand, but he glares at me. “I would have gone in and gotten you, ripped you out of the mud, and let myself drown in it instead.”
“Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m talking about. You can’t do that. You’re just as important as we are.” I point back to camp and out at Easton in the water. “You need to understand how much we care about you. Love you. Not just me. All of us here need you. You’re important.”
He glares at me, his hands on his waist.
“You are an integral part of all of us, Calvin.” I stand on my tiptoes and run my hand over his beard. Bits of dirt and leaves fall out. I run my hand down his arm and interlock my fingers with his.
He takes my other hand, pulls me against his chest, and I take him in. He’s so tall and big, and being surrounded by him is like nothing else. Normally, it makes me secure. But right now... not so much. I tilt my head up. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”
He sweeps me off my feet and we’re into the waves in two steps. The water’s up to his shoulders when I wiggle out of his arms and swim over to Easton. Calvin doesn’t spend time scrubbing his skin with sand. Instead, he swims out with me.
“Hey.” I wave. Being here has done lots of things for me. It’s changed both my insides and my outsides. I’m down a few clothing sizes, but I don’t even care about that. I’m fitter than I’ve ever been. Fitter than when I was in high school, back when I was a benchwarmer for the girls’ lacrosse team. I swim out to Easton.
Easton smiles at me. “Your stroke is getting better.”
“Thanks.” I bob next to him. “I’m trying to follow what you said.”
“I can tell.”
Calvin’s a good ten feet away, floating.
“How are you doing there? You look like a leopard,” I call over the waves. His skin is tinted with mud all over his arms and back.
“More like a house cat,” Easton says.
