Sam sits on the log next to me. The mama hens are quiet, but the babies are chirping.
“I’m still...” I search for the right word because mad isn’t quite right.
“Yeah, I get it. This morning—it was intense. There wasn’t a hell of a lot of eye contact. Well, maybe from Dante. And I guess Zane. But then, he lives in his own happy little bubble. Honestly, I don’t even know how the whole thing happened. One second we were eating grilled coconut in silence, and the next we were in the tender speeding away from camp.” Sam shakes his head and runs his fingers over the stubble on his chin.
“It’s not a good excuse, but I understand how it happened.”
“Well, I’m glad. And when you figure it out, you can explain it to me. It’s like I blacked out for the entire thing. The only one who was acting normal this morning was Dante.”
“And Zane?” I pull Violet back out of the cage.
“No, he was going on about chickens and how great it would be to have eggs again. And when someone said something about going, he started vibrating.”
“Vibrating?”
“Yeah, you know when he gets all smiles and then it’s like the air starts vibrating with positivity?”
I know exactly what he’s talking about, but I guess I never thought that any of the guys would see Zane the same way as I do. “Yes.”
“It broke the tension, and then we all started talking about things we could do with the tender. We weren’t running away from you.”
“I know. Last night was a lot.” I’m staring at Violet, and when I look up at him, his blue eyes are searching my face. “In a good way.”
He nods, and I see the relief on his face.
I hold Violet out for him to take. She looks even smaller sleeping on his palm.
“Things snapped for me last night.”
A rush of adrenaline zings through me. “Snapped?”
“Yeah, not broke. Snapped as it fell into place. It was like I didn’t really know I had that in me until last night.”
I can only imagine how wide my eyes are.
“Fuck, Haley. I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I want you. And it scares the shit out of me.”
I want to tell him how I feel about him. The words that I’ve told the other guys linger on my tongue. They roll around my mouth, but I can’t get them out. I fear that if I tell him everything in my heart, he’ll pull away. He was in charge last night, but he’s still broken.
I rest my hand on his knee. “I want you too. Last night was a lot of fun.” It’s the wrong word, and I inwardly cringe as I say it because it wasn’t fun. Well, it was fun. But it was more thanamazing sex. We were a group, working together. And he was fully committed to it. When I close my eyes, I can hear the way he growled the orders. He got us to do things that I didn’t even know were possible. It’s more than crazy.
“Fun. Yes.” His eyes question me.
“Wait, Sam. It was more.”
“It was, wasn’t it?” He takes my hand from his knee and holds it by the tips of my fingers. The kiss he brushes to my knuckles is a whisper that I can barely feel.
My smile catches his, and we’re suspended in time like that until a curse from Dante pulls the moment away.
Sam turns. “What’s up?” He’s jumped up and taken three steps before Dante’s done with his ranting and cursing. I wanted to tell Sam I love him.
“I just stubbed my toe. It’s nothing; carry on with your canoodling. No, wait until I get back.”
I’m shaking my head.
“Work first, canoodling later.” Sam takes the tub from Dante and winks back at me.
“Let me see your toe.” It’s not bleeding, but there’s a red spot on the side. “Does this hurt?” I drop to my knees.
