Page 50 of The Only Thing That's Real
As mad as I want to be at Mia, I get it.
“Sawyer’s well-being is the most important thing. You’ve gotta protect him from the world the best you can.”
“Even if that means letting my brother raise him as his own.”
“Sweetheart, Angus isn’t trying to take your place. You must know that.”
“But he’s the better father figure. Wouldn’t you agree?”
“How could I agree to such a thing when you haven’t even gotten the chance to try your hand at the job? You’re a good man. You need to remind yourself of that.”
“If I’m not there, I’m glad it’s Gus who is.”
“You’ll be here, son. You’ll be here for him.”
She’s right. Once this tour is over, changes are coming. I knew life was about to shift, and even though fatherhood is the last thing I saw coming, I want to be there for Sawyer. Mia too. The missing puzzle piece to my life may be home. 365 days a year, not sure about that, but roots are a possibility.
“You’re right. I will. But I think it’s fair to say my life hasn’t turned out how I thought it would. I’ve made so many mistakes.”
“Sweetheart, there’s a reason the rearview mirror is so small, and the windshield is so big. You need to look at the big, beautiful world in front of you and not focus on the past.”
“Right now, that seems impossible when I’ve missed so much.”
“Promise me something, son?”
“What’s that?”
“What Mia has done to you is something you don’t simply get over. Especially with your history when it comes to relationships business and personal. It seems impossible that you wouldn’t be jaded after everything you’ve been through. But please don’t stop giving people a chance. Promise me, kiddo.”
“I promise to try.”
“That’s all I can ask for.”
My reaction to Ryan knowing Rob sprints across my mind. She did say sheunfortunatelyknew him socially and that she would never be with a man like him, yet I blew up. Thinking that she was once again out to get me, when in reality she’s done nothing but prove otherwise.
Fuck, why is my head such a damn mess when it comes to this woman?
Mom likely knows Ryan well, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t want to know every morsel there is to know about the copper-haired vixen who’s infiltrated my world.
“Hey, Mom?”
“What’s up, honey?”
“What do you know about Ryan Jameson?”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Knox
Lately, I’ve dreaded family dinners.
Secrets aren’t something we keep from one another, and keeping one this big is eating me alive. Every time I think my shame is waning, it raises its ugly head, and I can’t find the words I need to say. Looking around the table, at the faces who mean so much to me, I know this is a safe place. They may have questions, but they will have my back. After the way Ryan and my mom responded, I feel even more certain, so why can’t I tell them?
As she crosses my mind, Ryan enters the room. Her usual spark dim as she takes a seat at the far end of the table. Kristen leans over to speak to her, and she replies, but isn’t fully engaged. For a moment I wonder if her mood is a result of the way I left her at the cafe, but even my ego knows it’s more than that. She looks like she’s been crying and withwhat little I know about this woman, I doubt she would be crying over the likes of me.
Staring at her empty plate, she pays no attention to the conversation going on around her. I fidget with my fork to occupy myself, as my heart thunders against my chest. She looks like someone has taken her heart out of her chest and stomped it to bits. I want to scoop her up and take her somewhere far away.
When Anna distracts Kristen, the forlorn redhead sneaks out of the room without a word. Not following her is a lesson in restraint I’m barely passing. The sight of her purse still hanging from the back of her chair eases my mind. It means she’ll be back, and that means more to me than it should.
