Page 30 of The Only Heart that Matters
“But, what if?”
“You can’t live your life worrying about all the what-ifs.”
I know I’m a hypocrite, but this is about her, not me.
Her gaze drops to the floor as she continues to fidget with her ring.
“It’s gonna be fine, wifey,” I joke.
Her head pops up, her eyes wide, but the lift to one side of her mouth makes me think she liked the sound of it almost as much as I did.
In fact, I liked it a little too much because it’s taking a herculean effort to ignore the semi in my pants.
“Shut up,” she whispers shyly, but her smile widens. “You are so stupid.”
“I think you like my kind of stupid.”
She rolls her eyes but doesn’t deny it. “Seriously, though. This could get messy.”
“Why don’t you tell the family, then? You know they’ll go along with it if it means you get the job, the insurance, and the day care.”
“It’s too embarrassing.”
“You don’t have to say anything tonight, but it might be wise to let them in on the secret soon. It’s not like they never leave town. One of them is bound to run into someone from the clinic at some point.”
“I’ll think about it,” she says. The ring still moving from hand to hand says she’s stressed, and I miss the carefree woman from the dance floor.
“Come on, Goof. Let’s go have some fun. It’ll be midnight before you know it.”
On instinct, I reach for her hand, but she pulls her fingers away as we touch, reminding me of the cold, hard truth. She’s not mine and therefore I don’t get to hold her hand tonight.
But I’ve seen that look in her eyes. I’ve seen the sexy-as-sin smile lighting up her face, and I think she wants to be mine. Even if we are only pretending.
She pulled away, but I don’t let that sucker punch me like it could have. It’s then I decide I’m giving myself the rest of the night to keep my give a shit guards down and let go of all the chaos constantly running through my head.
Of course, I know I’m not good enough for her, but it’s a wedding. The champagne is flowing, the music is thumping, and I’m gonna make the most of it.
“Dance with me,” I yell over the current banger everyone else is already dancing to.
This time, when I take her hand and walk us toward the party, she doesn’t pull away. She laces her fingers through mine.
And we dance.
And we sing.
And we laugh.
And it’s almost perfect.
If it were real... Now that would be perfect.
Near the end of the night, her parents appear with Sawyer to say their goodbyes.
Holding my hands out to Erin, I say, “Here, let me take him so you can make your rounds.”
“You sure? He’s getting cranky.”
“We’ll be fine, won’t we, buddy?”
