Page 114 of The Only Heart that Matters
I don’t look at him, afraid I’ll fall apart in front of everyone. Tears burn my eyes, my body shaking from the shock of his presence.
Angus is here.
What does it mean?
Does he forgive me?
Or is he simply being true to his word, being the kind man that he is, showing up to continue the farce we’ve concocted for my employer?
He must feel me shaking because he wraps an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side. His lips brush against my temple as he whispers, “You’re okay. I got you.”
His words are my undoing.
“Excuse me. I’ll be right back.” I beam the biggest smile I can muster and make a beeline for the bathrooms without looking athim. I’m too terrified to see his face, because with one look I’ll know if he’s here out of the kindness of his heart or if he’s here because he wants more.
Luckily, it’s early enough in the night that there isn’t a line, and I walk right into the bathroom and into an empty stall, locking the door behind me. I tip my head to the ceiling, coaxing my tears back inside where they belong as I take deep breaths in through my nose and out of my mouth. Two weeks of waiting for the other shoe to drop has every nerve of my body frayed and misfiring, but I haven’t cried.
“He’s here. That has to mean something,” I whisper to myself just before the sounds of the bar fill the small room when the door opens, drifting away when it closes.
“Mia, you okay?”
Shit.
“All good.” I leave the cocoon of my stall much sooner than I would have liked to find Jane leaning a hip against the counter, a concerned look on her face.
“You sure?”
Just keep lying Mia. You excel at it, after all.
“I’m sure. Thanks for asking.” I wash my hands for something to do as she watches me in the mirror. “Sawyer hasn’t been sleeping well this week, and I feel like a zombie. We’ll probably have to make it an early night. I’m not as young as I once was, and a Friday night out after a week of no sleep isn’t as easy these days.”
“I can’t imagine. I’m not a parent, but I’ve watched my sister with my niece and nephew, and she’s been right where you are. She stays home with them and when they were tiny, she’d be lucky to get a shower every few days.”
“It’s tough as a—” I catch myself. Almost slipping and mentioning how tough it can be as a single parent. I’m such aterrible liar. “Well, it can be tough for any parent, but I’m pretty lucky. He’s usually a great sleeper. I’m sure this is just a phase.”
“Well, no one will think any less of you if you take off. We all get it.”
“Thanks. I appreciate that.”
Jane stays to use the facilities, and I venture back to the bar where Angus is holding court. When he sees me, he excuses himself, meeting me halfway.
Reaching for me, he wraps his arms around me in a giant bear hug that takes my breath away, clutching me to him so tightly it’s almost painful. He holds me as though he thought he never would again. Or maybe he’s saying goodbye. Maybe the other shoeisabout to drop, and he’s sorry for the shitstorm about to come, because he finally told Knox.
I don’t know what’s going on in his head, because I still haven’t summoned the courage to look him in the eyes. I’m clueless about what comes next, but it doesn’t stop me from taking advantage of being in his arms, inhaling the scent of him in case it’s the last time.
Sooner than I’d like, he releases me, grabbing my hand. “Dance with me. We need to talk.”
He isn’t asking, and he doesn’t wait for my reply. With his hand in mine, he leads me to the busy dance floor. What small semblance of calm I had found in the bathroom takes flight, leaving me a shaking mess once again.
We fall into a slow two-step. I keep my eyes on the floor, not ready to know what I’ll find in the relentless stare I feel.
We take two silent trips around the floor before he finally speaks. “Mia, look at me.”
My insides run cold from the authoritative tone of his voice, but I can’t.
“Goof, please look at me.”
The earnestness in his voice gives me the strength to face him. When I do, his expression is serious, focused on nothing but me.
