Page 69 of A Touch of Royalty
She loved Cas.
And perhaps that shouldn’t be as earth-shaking as it was. She’d been falling for him for a while, and no matter how much she prevailed on her good sense, there had been no way to prevent it.
The question then became how should she tell him? Should she tell him at all?
She wanted to but was being stopped by a ridiculous level of fear. But fear of what? That he wouldn’t say it back. That was what she was afraid of.
But how much was she going to let that dictate her actions? How much was she willing to allow her fear to make her stop doing what she needed to do?
Perhaps she would wait a little longer. Watch and see if he had the same feelings that she did. Or feelings that would grow to match hers.
And then she would tell him.
Emryn got out of the bath, wrapping herself in a towel and drying off. She’d not known that they would be gone for this many days, and she was missing Shana and Brutus.
But they were due to return to the capital tomorrow. So for the days that they were on the road, she would wait and watch, and when they arrived back in the capital, she would tell him how she felt.
“Emryn?” Cas stuck his head around the frame of the door. “Would you like some help?”
“Yes please.” She held up the gown she’d decided on. “If you wouldn’t mind lacing me up?
“Of course.” He came the rest of the way in and helped her dress, lacing her into gown and helping her finish off the braid of her hair.
“Cas, I have a question.” She turned to face him, looking at his eyes, trying to see the feelings that were there.
“Yes Emryn?”
“When will we leave tomorrow?”
“Well, there’s no emergency, so we can go a bit slower.” He tapped his chin with one finger.“We can leave after breakfast.”
She nodded, restraining the words that wanted to escape. The words about how she truly felt.
“Is something wrong, Emryn?” He looked down at her, clearly seeing the worry in her eyes.
“No.” She shook her head. “Just thinking about something.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” He reached for her. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
“When we get back to the capital, I’ll tell you.” She smiled at him. “I promise it’s nothing bad.”
“Alright.” He leaned in and kissed her softly. “I’ll look forward to it.”
She nodded, swallowing the words again.
They left the next morning,up and in the saddle. It wasn’t as painful this time, not after the days she’d spent in the saddle as they went around their estate.
The queen was waiting for them at the gate, smiling with her arms open to them, welcoming them home. Emryn hadn’t been prepared to return to the city, not with her memories restored.
Because as they traveled the city, Emryn saw the different places that she’d known as a child. That market was where she’d walked with her mother and that corner where she’d played with a friend that she would never see again, and that street where she’d nearly gotten run over by a cart.
It was all very strange and no little bit stressful. She tried closing her eyes to block out some of it, but even the sounds were triggering memories. The sounds the market criers as they went by were enough to reduce her to tears.
Because in the end, her mother hadn’t loved her enough to save her.
And if her mother hadn’t loved her, then how could she expect anyone else to love her with any kind of honesty.
She couldn’t, and that thought made her have to hide tears as the people of the city celebrated the return of their prince and princess.
