Page 12 of Daddy Detectives: Episode 1
Ingrid reaches down and strokes Will’s hair. “Tyler had a lot of hair when he was born, too.” Then she switches her attention to Lizzie, who also has Tyler’s dark hair. “She’s going to be gorgeous. I can already picture Tyler beating off her admirers.”
When Ingrid straightens and turns to me, there are tears in her eyes. “I’m so happy for you both.” She pulls me in her arms and hugs me again, and now I’m getting teary-eyed right along with her. “I’m sorry,” she says with a soft chuckle as she releases me. “I get so emotional over my grandbabies. Just ignore me.”
“You don’t need to apologize, Gigi.” That’s the grandmother name she’s chosen to go by. “I’m right there with you. I find myself getting teary-eyed over them at least once a day.”
“All right,” she says as she steps away. “I’ll stop gawking at them so we can have lunch.”
I set the kitchen table for us while Ingrid pours us two sweet teas.
“So, Ian, how are you doing,really?” Ingrid asks as we dig into our casserole.
“I’m ridiculously happy.” I take a bite of my lunch. “This is delicious, thank you. And I’m pinching myself every day.”
“And Tyler? How’s he handling fatherhood?”
“Beautifully. He helps out with everything, and he runs all the errands for me. I’m in nesting mode right now and hate going out if I can help it. The only time we’ve been out, as a family, since the babies were born was to take them to their first pediatrician appointment.”
She takes a sip of her tea. “Do you mind that he’s working a case this soon?”
“No, of course not. He wouldn’t be Tyler if he didn’t want to help those in need.”
She smiles, but it’s bittersweet. “He’s so much like his father, always the hero. Always the first responder.”
“Don’t I know it,” I say, remembering how he came running to my rescue when Roy Valdez—the one who’d killed my friend Eric—came after me on my own yacht, with the intention of killing me. And then there was the time Tyler sacrificed his own career to save my sister from sex traffickers. “Tyler wouldn’t be Tyler if he didn’t insist on saving people. It’s in his DNA, and I don’t mind one bit. It only makes me love him more.”
But if he’s a hero, what does that makeme?I feel even worse for wanting to stay home with the kids while he goes out to investigate cases and potentially risk his life every day.
She studies me a moment. “Honey, what’s wrong?”
I wave off her question. “Nothing. I’m fine.”
Ingrid reaches across the table and takes my hand, squeezing it gently. “Sweetheart, you don’t look fine. You know youcan tell me anything, right? Becoming a parent can be pretty overwhelming. I totally understand what you’re going through.”
I take a bite of my food, chew, and swallow. It goes down like a rock, not because the food isn’t good—it’s fantastic—but because of my own guilt.
“Ian.” She’s using her mom voice, which makes me smile.
“It’s not that. I mean, yes, babies are a lot of work, but it’s fun. I’m enjoying them so much. It’s just that—” Now I’m the one tearing up. “Having the babies has brought up a lot of deeply buried emotional stuff—my birth mom, my early childhood.”
She tightens her grip on my hand. “Oh, sweetheart. I’m so sorry.” She knows I’m adopted, and she knows I was taken away from my birth mother for the first time when I was four, but she doesn’t know the awful, disgusting, gory details. It’s not something I like to think about, let alone discuss. Besides my own family, Tyler is the only one who knows the specifics of what happened. “I don’t remember a lot, but what I do recall gives me nightmares. And the idea of my kids going through something like that—”
“Ian, that’snevergoing to happen.”
“Rationally, I know that. But, irrationally, it makes me want to ensure they have a safe and happy upbringing. I want them to know they’re loved.”
“And they will, honey. Of course, they will. You and Tyler are amazing parents.”
I lean back in my chair and blurt out what’s eating at me. “I want to stay home with them.”There! I’ve said it.Out loud, for the first time.
“Stay home? You mean—”
“I mean, I want to be a stay-at-home dad.”
She smiles. “I think that’s a wonderful idea.”
My confidence deflates. “You don’t think Tyler will be disappointed? We were supposed to work together as PIs. Wewere supposed to be partners. I’m afraid if I tell him I want to stay home with our babies, he’ll—”
“Ian Jamison!”
