“Really?” Vale asks, sounding like he can’t believe that’s true.
“I always went over to Leana’s. And I never slept over there. Also, in high school, there was no way I was sneaking a girl into my parents’ house. My mom even put a statue of La Virgenin front of my window, like she’s supposed to keep girls from climbing in in the middle of the night and protect my virginity.”
“I’m sure that worked out well,” he teases. “You never slept over at one of their places?”
“And get caught by one of their dads? Nah. I’ve played it safe. Always. Never a girlfriend. Or like, no one other than friends who I was very much not hooking up with. I want you to be the first. And there are a few parts of your body I’m eager to get my mouth on.”
My hands squeeze the muscle of my favorite part of his body, massaging soft skin, spreading his cheeks and letting a couple fingers graze up and down and make small circles around his hole, gently putting some pressure, listening to how he lets out breathy moans and watching as he pushes back on my fingertip. “I mean, I usually get an after-the-party meal, and I can think of something that’s been looking pretty eatable.”
Vale laughs as he leans down and kisses me. Every part of my body touching his tingles, like it’s never been so stoked.
“You sure?” he asks, our faces only inches apart.
“Yeah. I—I want this. I want you here, with me. I’m not ready for this to be over. However long we get, I want to make the most of it.”
And we do. And it feels right. Great. Perfect. My hand reaching for and wrapping around him, watching how beautiful he is trying his best to hold it together as I stroke him before losing himself because of me. Swiping over my chest and tasting him on my fingers before reaching for the closest pair of underwear to clean the rest off. Perfect.
I learn the sounds he makes when my mouth and fingers hit certain parts of his body. What every single part of him tastes like. His mouth goes back down to my dick for round two, and it’s just as good as the first time. And it’s paradise. All of it.
As scary as the rest of the world outside my room is, this feels easy. Being with him. How we create this space away from the whole world, just the two of us. How, as much as what happens after tonight is so uncertain, he makes me feel safe. His kisses. How beautiful his name feels on my lips when I can’t hold it any longer. How good my name sounds coming out of his mouth. The cuddles and soft kisses and quiet conversation while trailing fingers over skin, all of our clothes forgotten about still. Pulling him close, holding him tight and spooning him. Kissing his neck and shoulder and burying my nose in his skin and listening to the sound of his breathing as he falls asleep. Until the rhythm of it finally knocks me out too.
21
I WANT TO FIGUREout the mathematical theory for stopping time. There’s got to be some kind of equation. Some arrangement of numbers that would stop the Earth’s rotation so I never have to let go of this moment. So that night never has to turn to day, and I can stay here, in this bed, and be freer than I’ve ever been in my life.
I wake up a little before six, because my internal clock is never going to let me take an off day, even if I only finally fell asleep just over an hour ago. But waking up to Vale asleep on top of me, his head on my chest, his arms wrapped around me, his leg propped up over one of mine, I can’t be mad about it. My hand traces lines up and down his spine, gentle enough to make sure I don’t wake him. And I give even gentler kisses to the top of his head.
I wish I could figure out the mathematical theory for stopping time. The formula that lets me keep Vale here with me. I try to stay up a minute longer, two even, take in this moment andhold on to it for as long as I can. Until, against my will, I lose myself to sleep again.
When I wake up a second time, the sun is fully up and out, its brightness coming through my blinds. Vale’s stretching and yawns pull me awake and, almost involuntarily, my first reaction is to hold him tighter, smiling into his hair as he lets out a tired, groany chuckle.
“You’re such a cuddler,” he says, sounding still half asleep.
“Is that okay?”
He picks his head up, his eyes tired but still as beautiful as ever. “It’s one of my favorite things about you.”
“Oh yeah? What else is on that list?”
“I’m still deciding.” He brings his head back down, his lips kissing right where my heart is and then slowly making their way over my whole chest. “There’s a lot. And as much as I’d love to stroke your ego and list them all right now, I have to go to the bathroom.”
“Pues, go,” I tell him, a quiet laugh coming out as I relax my hold on him and let him off me. “I’ll still be here when you get done.”
“Promise?” he asks, and my heart goes still and warm.
“Right now? Yeah. I can promise you that.”
He starts sitting up, just enough to lean over and kiss me. And then kiss me again, but this time his hand also goes under the blanket we were sharing, stroking something else, smiling as I let out a breathy“Fuck.”He keeps going, a mix of hand and kisses for maybe half a minute before I finally find the strength to tell him “Ya, you’re about to make me act up. Go pee first,” and he’s laughing against my lips.
I feel myself get impatient the second our bodies aren’t touching and his hand isn’t on me, wanting to tell him “Never mind, you’ve got to stay here with me still and finish what youstarted,” but then I realize watching Vale leavemybed, naked, a hickey on one of his ass cheeks, and walk to the bathroom is in the running for one of the hottest sights I could ever see. It makes that impatience even louder. I feel almost cavemanlike, wanting to pick him up, carry him back here, and get back to where we were last night into early this morning. And a part of my body he seems to very much enjoy getting familiar with is fully up for the cause.
Until I realize—it’s daytime. My roommates could be here right now.
I panic-rush for my phone, check the text messages waiting for me in our house group chat, and let out a relieved breath, relaxing back into the mattress and my pillow, letting the unusual silence comfort me.
Got home but leaving right now. Getting brunch and will be at the beach with the squad if you want to come, Piña and Pérez (and Kat), from Ahmed, sent half an hour ago.
Will be with my girlfriend all day, from Nguyen, sent a couple hours ago.
